Scuba Instructor and Random Crap

So the house elf leaves today for a weekend of exams. He's passed everything else he needs to be a scuba instructor. Now it's just the final exams. I'm so damn proud of this man, when we signed up for scuba lessons 3 or 4 years ago, he would panic if i turned the shower on to high, he was that afraid of water. But because this was something I really wanted to do; he took swim lessons, passed his open water certification, then we got the adventure rating, went to Cozumel and it was no stopping him from there. We both took rescue diver class then went on to get our master Scuba Diver (highest on the rec side of diving) then at the same time got our Dive Master (the first level on the pro side of diving) He has now gone on for his instructor. I might do that in a year, we'll see. I have enough stress answering 9-1-1 calls. :-)

Okay so the house elf calls me the other day. Says Hunni my tummy is not feeling good. I said Why. Apparently he ate a pudding that he had left in the heat of the day out in his car. (Dumb ass) Then he gets real quiet and says when you eat hot puddin' it's like an express car. The shit coming out looks just like the shit going in. He says it must have a "shit pass" just flashes the intestines and zips right by to the colon.
Puddin in, puddin out

I just got my car back from the shop. Some damn construction truck didn't have it's crap tied down right and it blew off the back and scratched the side of my baby. Hot red paint and scratches doesn't look good. Took it to the shop, the guy goes I need the key. I looked him right in the eye and said I don't even let the house elf drive my car, if you put so much as a footprint in it, we are gonna have problems. Poor man. They did a great job though, no scratches, no foot prints.

My baby frog killing shit eating puppy is still at it, however my "baby" is now 65 lbs at 8 months. He's gonna be huge And why the hell does he feel the need to be a moving road block. Does not matter where I am he feels the need to be right in front of my feet or if I'm at a counter to lay right behind my heels. Dumb ass dog

On a final note, PLEASE if you call 911 and your operator says all right officers are on the way. Officers ARE ON THE WAY, and I don't really want to hear about what went on a year ago. Just be kind, shut up and hang up. Thanks so much.

okay happy Friday all

OH AZA, you better watch your back, you never know where a chair is going to come lobbing out of your computer screen. hehehehehe