Honduran Bowling

......whooooo hooooo what a ride.....back safe and sound from Hondruas and what a blast we had. Lots of stories to tell but the first at the forefront of my mind is the new sport I discovered.
.....Honduran bowling. What is that you ask? Well if you give me a minute I'll tell you all about it.

First you must close your eyes, and picture a jungle paradise...second you must picture me all hooked up in this torture device that looks alot like a mountain climbing harness. Then you must picture me standing in stark terror, 300 feet up in the air on a mountain side with a steel cable strung across the jungle from one mountain to the next.

Now hear me screaming like a little girl as I leap off the side of this mountain, trusting this harness with it's plastic clips and hooks to hold me 300 feet in the air while I go zipping across this steel cable at about 50 miles per hour. Wondering if I'm gonna shit my pants half way across.

Now picture me sliding into the far mountain ass first because I can't seem to get the mechanics of turning myself around to land feet first while going 50 miles an hour and screaming and shitting myself.

Okay that's the first leg of this Jungle Zip line tour, I'm actually paying people to let me do, only 8 more lines to go. (FUCK what am I doing here) (House elf is there too, having as "good" a time as I am)

Okay so we make it through the next zip line, without a smelly mess in my pants, and still landing ass first because this turning around thing isn't working for me. Safe and sound...only 7 more to go. Holy SHIT 7 more. I'm gonna die.

3rd line. Okay, the guides say you have to run and jump off this little ramp deal. I look at this little fella and say, I'm only running if you point a gun at me, at which time another guide feels around seeing if he brought his gun. (not a good joke in a 3rd world country I guess) So RUN and jump goes the first Guide who is video taping the house elf and I in our moment of insanity. RUN and JUMP goes the second guide, who is this short little guy who maybe weighs 120 lbs if that.

My turn..... fast walk, fast walk to the edge...stop...walk back to the start...do it over, walk back to the start. Finally fast walk and do this trip off the side of the mountain, which sends me careening across the cable, of course ass first. I look over my shoulder at one point and see the landing area is way to low for my long legs and I'm gonna crash hard on my butt. As I get closer I look again and I see the little guide guy in this crouch position, arms open, right where my butt is aimed and I'm sailing along about 40 mph. Next thing I know I RAM into this guide at 35 or 40 miles per hour, I hear a loud grunt that did not come from me. Feel the guide bowl over like a strike on league night at the bowling alley. Then suddenly I'm sitting on his lap. I never hit the dirt at all. However I did wrench the poor guys knee out. He should have realized he's very tiny and well I'm not, and maybe standing right in the landing zone isn't such a good idea. Only 6 more lines to go.

Next line I got stuck half way across, which will bring us to Terror hanging 300 feet over the jungle, but that's another story for next time

So if you are ever in Hondruas on the island of Roatan, Visit the pirates of the Caribean zip line tour and ask if you too can go Honduran bowling.

Later people