Chalk one up for the ladies

Okay ladies. I have scored a hit for all of us. The beginning of this post is about bodily functions so be warned.
Last night while we were driving home, of course the house elf gets a case of the toots. Not any ordinary toots mind you, but the kind where green goo starts dripping off the interior of his vehicle, the kind chemical warfare suits were created for. The silent but deadly fart..only his were not silent and not only were they deadly they could span the area of a small nuclear explosion. I look over at him in disgust as he gets this sheepish little smile and goes..but it snuck out hunni....this was cute the first time he said it...however the 12th or 13th time it was no longer cute and I was leaning out the passenger window gagging and puking as green vaporous clouds were escaping into the stratosphere. My God what do men eat to make them smell like that.

....well I got even with him. I guess I ate something that upset my little tummy (go figure with all the problems I've had of late.) So I'm snuggled up in bed with all the covers pulled up nice and tight...the elf walks into the bathroom to do his nightly ritual...you know...poop, pinch the love handles as he stares in the mirror, brush the teeth...well while he was doing this I had the worst rotten egg smelling couple of farts. Which I deceided to trap under the covers. He comes into bed and rolls over to snuggle up to me at which point I trapped him beneath the covers with the smell. Oh girls to hear the retching and cussing you'd of thunk I took away his favorite remote contorled car (that by the way he terriozies the animals with)...I felt quite satisfied that I was able to chalk one up for the ladies.
>>>>I know I know it's quite sick and twisted, but hey it's me in all my glory. hehehehe

Yesterday was the sonogram, the technician said she didn't see any gallstones. CRAP...I'm now waiting for the surgeons office to call to see what the next step is going to be. I'm so tired of being nasaus or throwing up all the time. I've got no energy and even water makes me feel like a dog pissed on my head. I'm at the point of telling them to take out the gall bladder anyway to see if it helps. I'll wait to see what the cute little Dr. M says. I think all his patients have a crush on him. You don't think my feeling bad is a ploy to get to see him do you. Nahhhhhhh it's really not sexy for the cute doc to see you naked...sprawled out on an operating table with tubes and stuff sticking all over you. Kind of ruins the mood. However the voyer in me jazzes on the nurses and surgial team watching...
Opps sorry was that my outside playgroud voice. That was suposed to be my inside church voice.