It's all an evil plot

Duck....that's the evil plot and I'm never eating duck again no matter who tells me it's okay to do do so.
Scuba Elf's brother went to communist China for his vacation, and he brought home a peaking duck. Of course he wanted us to come over to eat with him and their mom. BAD move on my part.
We went we had duck. I'm not sure if it was the greasy duck, the fact it made a 12 hour flight from China, or that it's been hanging out over here for a week before being made into dinner. But after eating the duck and then looking at pictures of the brothers trip. We walked home (we only live 7 doors away so it wasn't but a stroll down the street) That's when it hit. The sweats, the shakes, the OH MY GOD I don't feel so good. People I think I puked up a lung and half my intestines and there were a couple toenails mixed it.
Now the thing to find out, is this a communist plot to off the evil American red headed females, or is the brother in law plotting my demise.
It's a mystery...a mystery that my poor stomach is in the middle of.

Excuse me while I go wither around in pain.