The Great Frog Hunter

So I'm sound asleep the other night. I hear the dog bounding off of walls. I get up, put my surgical shoe on, hobble into the bath room (the dogs favorite room to lay in I guess it's cool) And he's kangaroo hopping all over the bathroom. I'm figuring he needs to go out.

I put him out he runs around the yard for a bit and comes back in. 30 minutes later I hear this gagging sound. I leap up strap on the damn shoe again, hobble into the bathroom and the dog has drool hanging off his chin. I check him to make sure he's not choking, he starts kangaroo hopping again. So I kick his little ass outside again. He runs around and comes back inside. 30 minutes later kangaroo hopping again. I've had it so I get up, yup strap the damn shoe back on drag his little butt out to his kennel to sleep the rest of the night. Ahhhh finally blessed sleep.

7am Ding dong goes my door bell like 200 times (I only wish I was kidding) I figure the scuba elf has locked himself out, so I get back in my shoe, hobble run to the front door and it's my f'ing mother in law wanting to talk to the elf. FUCK if he doesn't answer the door he's not here there is no DAMN reason to ring my doorbell 200 times.
Muttering I head back to the bedroom and there is a dark spot on the carpet.

Hmmmm I'm guessing the stupid puppy crapped on the floor during the night again. Then the damn spot HOPS, then it hops again. Son of a bitch, he brought a frog in during the night and that's what he was chasing all night until I locked him up.
I had to sleep all night with a FROG. I hate frogs. Hate hate hate hate frogs.

Damn dog.