The rotting thumb conversation

This is the conversation between the house elf and I yesterday (on the phone)

elf..where have you been
me.. the phone was dead I had to find one that was charged up
elf..not my problem, I have a big problem here
me.. oh no what?
elf..my thumb is bleeding and the knuckle is black
me.. OH GOD start toward the Dr's office right now and I'll call them

(Dr office said put pressure on it and have him come right in)

Me.. okay put pressure on it and get to the Dr's office
elf..it's not bleeding bleeding, it's bleeding internally and my thumb is all black.
me.. okay stay calm just get the Dr's office I'm on my way to meet you there.
(I'm envisioning witch's caludron black and thinking gangreen)

Get to the dr's office and meet the elf there.
He shows me his thumb

me.. (trying to hold back the hystrical laughter) Oh God Hunni it's a bruise
elf..no it's not it's black and I'm gonna die and my thumb is going to fall off
me.. no hunni it's a bruise but lets let Shannon (the P.A.) look at it
elf..I'm going to die
me.. just let Shannon look at it (still laughing my ass off)

Taken into the office, Shannon comes in and looks at the thumb

Shannon..OH MY GOD look at the bruise you have on your hand. (looking dead serious)
**I'm doing the porky's scene in the office when Beulah is talking about the mole on the penis, thing and turning purple and sliding off my chair onto the floor trying to stiffle my laughter**

Elf.. I'm going to die!
Us... okay but not from the bruise

After you laugh here go ask Burfica about trying to lose her eye

Happy Halloween everyone