At a loss

I had a great post all ready and now I can't remember and it's all Burfica's fault...she went and was nice to me damnit.
She couldn't go and post on how I used to hide my rotan cigar box full of illigal drugs in her underware drawer so that if mom found the stash she'd get in trouble not me. (ha the joys of setting up your 7-year your junior sister) or how I used to knock her around for entertainment when there was nothing good on TV. Now my reputation is totally ruined.

However on the note of those damn boots. I have to admit I was very close to a panic when we found the size 12 boots in the closet. But all things worked out, well up until the point that she stepped out onto the newly waxed floors.

The house elf has retuned safely from his jaunt with his family. He made some new friends which is good. He tried to stay away from his mom and brother as much as possilbe. I guess his mom is back on the tirade that he (the house elf) needs to be nicer to her because she is dying. For the love of all that's holy of course you are dying lady..we all are. Conception is a fatal undertaking. That is the only thing in life we ABSOULTLY have to do and that is die. (None of the stupid comments about and pay taxes because you don't HAVE to pay taxes) So anyway it just gets a little tiresome.
Neither his mom or his brother are really talking to me since they got back. I guess me being upset that I WASN'T fucking invited along on their little excursion gives them cause to think I'm being ridiciously selfish. Screw it. Other than the fact they are the house elf's family and I don't want stress with all that mess I could care less.

Gawd I wish I had something to write about instead of being better than a sleeping pill cocktail and putting you all to sleep. (Though this may be good for Kitten since she doesn't sleep) I supose we could have a rousing discussion about female masturbation but I'm scared if Saby were to show up that could be hell on his little heart, and then Op and Ho would just get "stuff" all over their keyboards then they'd want me to send em money to replace it..

5 days and a wake up until Cozumel. I can not wait to get into the water. I'm about to crawl outta my skin like and alcholic with DT's. Have to start packing tonight. Yes I'll be packing this early as mine and house elf's gear is what our lives depend on, so we pack early, checking all the O'rings, seals (not as in baby seals that you beat over the head with a baseball bat, but the seals on the gear) computer batteries etc. It's a big job getting ready for a week of diving. BUT I CAN NOT WAIT.

I'll leave you with one of the best cut downs I've had hurled at me in a long time. Now I am the queen of one liners and cut downs. Just ask Burfica, (we actually share the throne) But working in a biker bar you get real good at one liners. And I HATE it when someone gets one up on me but this particular one I'll share. The drummer from the Charlie Daniels Band (Like the Devil went down to Gerorgia Charlie Daniels) was in here last week. Ladies his name is Pat McDonald and what a drop dead gorgous babe he is. (Not as cute as my house elf but oh so handsome for any of your single girls out there) Anyway he was giving me a bad time so I used one of my regular lines looked him in the eye and said okay buddy no more blow jobs in the back room for you.
This man oh so gently looked me in the eye and said well baby that's okay cuz the last one wasn't very good anyway because I had to GRAB you by the ears and show you what to do.
You all I was speachless. I've since come up with about 80 very cutting comebacks but all I could do was stand and stare like a retard when he said this.
Touche' Patrick..just wait until you haul your sorry ass back here...Victory shall be mine asshole.

Okay someone tell me what they want my next post to be about so maybe I'll be more entertaining.