I miss my mom

Today is a day filled with all sorts of emotions.
Today is the 2nd anniversary that my and Burfica's mom passed away. A year earlier I had brought her here to Texas hoping that we could help her get better as she was a train wreck health wise.
Unfortunatly within a week she was back in the hospital for a week and on hospice shortly after her admit in to the hospital.
My mom being the fighter she was fought her way out of hospice, and was very close to going to an assisted living facility instead of being stuck in a nursing home. In the end the damage done to her lungs from smoking finally took her.

I read Burf's post and like her whenever something happens I want my mommy. I want to laugh with her, cry with her and scream in anger with her. Things that can never happen again.

But at the same time I have to thank her. While not the worlds best mother, but I wonder what mom is. None... every mom just struggles along and does her best. Mom ended up divorced in a time when divorced women were considered sluts and whores. And that it was they who must have done something wrong because men were the all knowing assholes. Mom took these attitudes on head first no matter how much they hurt her. She taught Burfica and I a Fuck you attitude. If you need something bad enough nobody is going to stand in your way.
She always tried to make sure we laughed as kids. She always made sure we had food on the table even if she went hungry, and she always made sure we had cloths and shoes. Even if her shoes had duct tape on the holes on the bottoms.

With all her flaws she was a good mom. She was my mom.
And despite what she and Burf and I talked about I was the one who had to tell the doctors not to do anything for her.
My head knows it was right, my heart still ain't quite caught up with that thinking. Thank God Burfica and I are so close and there was no fighting over all that mess.

I know Burf is having a bad day to.

I love you sis

I love you mom

I miss you mom