No Life...
Okay it's official..I no longer have a life. I found myself this morning looking outside at the dreary rainy day that it's turned out to be and flopping on the couch watching of all things Regis and KellyLive and thinking to myself hey this isn't half bad. What happend to me. I used to have an active mind...I used to be a productive member of society. I used to have a life.
Okay so one day of flopping on the couch enjoying Regis and Kelly does not constitue life being over...but it could. Am I wrong for my little infractions.
Okay my convience store coffee addiction is taking on new relms. I no longer go in right before work to get a cup of java..I now stop before work to get a "gasp" French Vanilla Cappichino (however you spell it) I then send my relief down on his way here to get me yet another cup....and then I have to stop on the way home for a Carmel steamer. This is getting out of hand..However I'm still spending less on the 3 cups of coffee a day then on one cup at Starbucks. It is now my mission to help other Starbucks junkies to convert to my little mom and pop convinece store addiction. Don't you know all addicts need company. Well except for Burfica. I'm a little worried about her hot cocoa powder addiction. She won't drink the damn stuff just horde the powder in the can, and make rabid dog slathering at the jowls sounds when anyone comes close to her. I'm thinking we may need to commit her...but she would consider that a vacation from her life...and I'm a bit worried the semi's would still locate her then I have to explain all the tread marks down the hallways of the insane asylium.
I have deceided in my spare time to create a new invention that is going to revolutionize the world as we know it. It is going to make life easier, promote peace to all of man kind, and to possibly cure world hunger..(well that may be streaching the point a bit but we'll stick to promoting peace to man kind)
This invention is going to be a light...a small light that will be a curtosy to others. This light is going to be a indication of intention. It's going to let others know that one plans a course of action...it's going to be placed on every persons motor vehicle..it will be viewable from both the front and back, and in some cases in the side view mirrors. This light will be visible in both the day time and the night time. This is going to revolutionize driving and life as we know it. You will use this light when you plan to change lanes on the highways and byways of America, you will also use this little innocent light when you plan to make a 90 degree turn onto a diffrent street/road then you are currently traveling on. I think I'm going to call this light a hmmmmmm "a turn signal" Everyone can have one. They will be free to use and will relive so much stress on other drivers trying to guess what the hell the other person is planning on doing. It will help elimanate much road rage across the U.S. It will tell others that you as a driver have half a brain, and it will do much to my plan of promoting world peace. What do you all think...Can I pull off this invention..can I win a pultizer prize for it...can I gasp make Money for this invention.
Someone just tried to rain on my parade and tell me this invention has already been made and is on every moving moter vehicle on the road ways. I don't belive it. It's a damn lie!!!! I've never seen this small flashing light...EVER...I think this person is just trying to steal my paton and gather all the glory and money I'm expecting from the revolution. Someone tell me it's not true and my goal for mankind is still attainable in my pursuit of the legendary road to happiness.
Okay Scuba do's and don'ts
DO NOT assume your dive buddy still has air as you are running short. He probably has less air then you and is assuming that you still have air for a shared air asscent. This is a bad thing.
DO always know where you buddy is. It's disconcerting to look up from the photo you've been taking and not know where your buddy has wondered off too
If it looks really pretty, really ugly or in between...DO NOT touch it. It's probably posionious and will make you sick. (I really need to practice what I preach as I like to touch stuff).
If it's big and has sharp teeth it's probably higher up the food chain then you are and you probalby don't want to piss it off. Be respectful and whatever it is will most likely respect you and leave you alone too.
Okay so one day of flopping on the couch enjoying Regis and Kelly does not constitue life being over...but it could. Am I wrong for my little infractions.
Okay my convience store coffee addiction is taking on new relms. I no longer go in right before work to get a cup of java..I now stop before work to get a "gasp" French Vanilla Cappichino (however you spell it) I then send my relief down on his way here to get me yet another cup....and then I have to stop on the way home for a Carmel steamer. This is getting out of hand..However I'm still spending less on the 3 cups of coffee a day then on one cup at Starbucks. It is now my mission to help other Starbucks junkies to convert to my little mom and pop convinece store addiction. Don't you know all addicts need company. Well except for Burfica. I'm a little worried about her hot cocoa powder addiction. She won't drink the damn stuff just horde the powder in the can, and make rabid dog slathering at the jowls sounds when anyone comes close to her. I'm thinking we may need to commit her...but she would consider that a vacation from her life...and I'm a bit worried the semi's would still locate her then I have to explain all the tread marks down the hallways of the insane asylium.
I have deceided in my spare time to create a new invention that is going to revolutionize the world as we know it. It is going to make life easier, promote peace to all of man kind, and to possibly cure world hunger..(well that may be streaching the point a bit but we'll stick to promoting peace to man kind)
This invention is going to be a light...a small light that will be a curtosy to others. This light is going to be a indication of intention. It's going to let others know that one plans a course of action...it's going to be placed on every persons motor vehicle..it will be viewable from both the front and back, and in some cases in the side view mirrors. This light will be visible in both the day time and the night time. This is going to revolutionize driving and life as we know it. You will use this light when you plan to change lanes on the highways and byways of America, you will also use this little innocent light when you plan to make a 90 degree turn onto a diffrent street/road then you are currently traveling on. I think I'm going to call this light a hmmmmmm "a turn signal" Everyone can have one. They will be free to use and will relive so much stress on other drivers trying to guess what the hell the other person is planning on doing. It will help elimanate much road rage across the U.S. It will tell others that you as a driver have half a brain, and it will do much to my plan of promoting world peace. What do you all think...Can I pull off this invention..can I win a pultizer prize for it...can I gasp make Money for this invention.
Someone just tried to rain on my parade and tell me this invention has already been made and is on every moving moter vehicle on the road ways. I don't belive it. It's a damn lie!!!! I've never seen this small flashing light...EVER...I think this person is just trying to steal my paton and gather all the glory and money I'm expecting from the revolution. Someone tell me it's not true and my goal for mankind is still attainable in my pursuit of the legendary road to happiness.
Okay Scuba do's and don'ts
DO NOT assume your dive buddy still has air as you are running short. He probably has less air then you and is assuming that you still have air for a shared air asscent. This is a bad thing.
DO always know where you buddy is. It's disconcerting to look up from the photo you've been taking and not know where your buddy has wondered off too
If it looks really pretty, really ugly or in between...DO NOT touch it. It's probably posionious and will make you sick. (I really need to practice what I preach as I like to touch stuff).
If it's big and has sharp teeth it's probably higher up the food chain then you are and you probalby don't want to piss it off. Be respectful and whatever it is will most likely respect you and leave you alone too.
posted by Alekx @ 9:59 AM
2 Comments:
At 12:27 PM,
Burfica said…
OMG that is one of the funniest blogs you've ever written. OH man. Do think I'd get sued if my life ruined the insane asylum?? hehehehehe
I don't think those light have been invented either. I never see anyone using one. It's okay if your dive buddy has less air than you. He's tiny he won't need as much. lmao
At 1:01 PM,
kitten said…
baw haw haw!!! I thought when you started talking about an invention that would make the world a better place, you were perhaps inventing some kind of MAN MUZZLE. Well, one can dream..cant she???
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