Rainy Monday Morning

I hate friggin' getting up at 5 in the morning. There is a reason I quit a real job to work my hobby and my jewlery business. SO I CAN SLEEP IN...but no I had to get up at 5 so I could be at the hospital in Dallas for an upper GI. Gawd I hate driving to Dallas...especially on a Monday morning, after a 4 day holiday in the rain. Every jerkwad in the universe is on the roads.

Not only did I have to get up early, and drive with all the dimwits...but have you ever noticed that you can not eat or drink anything for 12 hours staight and it doesn't bug you so much...but the minute you have to have tests done and are told not to eat or drink anything after midnight, you wake up at 12:01 with the worst case of cotton mouth, craving something to drink, and then when you get up for real it's like you have not eaten in a month. Jeez...and then for the maddening drive through rush hour Dallas idiots, all you have to look forward to is the 3 flavors of barium...thick, thin and cat bile fizzy stuff. GAG!!!

So I go in for my test....the tech has all the stimulating flavors of barium on the counter...my mouth is like the Mohave desert, my stomach is telling me EAT now (I have a 3 oz stomach it can't complain as much as it was this morning...I don't get it) and the Doctor walks in and his name is Dr. CHOW...WTF with that.
Now I'm on the table in my very reveling hospital gown with my ass hanging in the breeze, and they begin to serve my yummy cocktails whilst taking photos of my insides...and well it's just hard to be sexy when you have the lovely white chalk lipstick thing going on and the cute little Dr. Chow is more intrested in your bowels then in your boobs. Sighhhhhhh...
Finally got all my insides photographed, out to the car to drink 3 gallons of water and eat a protein bar, only to get nasuas and want to puke it all back up which is why I was there for the upper GI to begin with.

As for the hour long drive with the nimrods. What is it with people that their brains meltdown when they get behind the wheel. I mean you don't have to go 5mph in the rain on the freeway...but it is prudent to slow down a touch for the road conditions. But you always get the two ends of the spectrum..that person who is in the fast lane doing like 25 in a 70 zone, or the person who with lots of standing water on the roadways is doing 110 hell bent for leather. So this morning 2 cars crash into each other...each catching fire. While a tradgey, both were being stupid drivers, now EVERYONE has to pay for it as traffic is backed up for like 18 miles on a major highway. Then the fella in the SUV (which of course made him indispensible) doing 90 around an unbanked curve with very wet roadways and lots of standing water...(hello it's been raining since 10:30 last night slides off the curve and goes upside down) I guess it's the old addage...never under estimate the power of stupid people in large crowds.

Finally I'm tucked in safe and sound at home, and the dumbest dogs in the world both have really bad farts, and feel the need to want to cuddle. I'm going to die before this day is over. Either I'll have to go back outside and a stupid driver is going to kill me or the dogs are going to gas me to death. I know you guys are out there laughing thinking it can't be that bad...but I looked over and the cats have on their bio-chemical overalls and rebreathers. The bird is laying at the bottom of her cage with her little feet sticking up in the air and both dogs are smiling at me. I'm a dead woman I tell you....

Good bye Cruel world, until I blog again