It's been one of those days
........so a friend of ours came over to help the house elf put up the cealing fan in mom's room. Now you have to close your eyes to picture this. The friend is 6'8" tall...my little cute house elf is 5'3" so you have the classic mutt and jeff senerio with these two. So here is Super gigantor and baby elf and they are best of friends and fight like brothers. 5 year old brothers mind you.
So here is how the day basically went
Super Gigantor: Yo Fuckwad why didn't you get the fan put together
House Elf: Because asshole it was your turn to do it.
SG: You are such a dipshit
HE: At least I don't smell like shit...
SG & HE: Aaaaalllllllllleeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ME: WHAT
Them: Come tell us what you want us to do
ME: PUT UP THE FAN
Them: OH
This went on for like 3 hours and much to my amazment they finally did get the fan put up with only 3 shocking experiences.
Jesus I should have done it myself it would have been done in like 20 or 30 minutes. You all keep trying to get me to have kids. As you can clearly see by the above conversation I DO NOT NEED CHILDREN. I have a super Giant and a house elf.
Have you ever watched older people at church. You always and I mean always see at least one old guy that is picking his nose and examining what he's found in there. I'm wondering if that is his offering for the week. Then there is always the lady who is WAY over perfumed. Who would allow someone to spray on a entire bottle of Elizabeth Taylors White Diamond perfume and then leave the house. Thank Goodness I don't have asthema or I'd be dead by now. GAWD how stinky can one get.
Alright I'm going to go let the house elf turn me from a grey haired shrew into a hot and sexy red headed vixen.
I need something good to face tomorrow with. The durango goes in for a tow hitch to be put on then joy of joy I get to go have a root canal. If you hear of a dentist being thrown out of window in Texas you'll know he didn't give me enough novicane.
Until tomorrow my adoring public...
Oh Chicken e-mail me and tell me what's up with your computer. I haven't always been a witty writer..I actually have a computer degree...the elf and I will see if there is something we can help you with.
So here is how the day basically went
Super Gigantor: Yo Fuckwad why didn't you get the fan put together
House Elf: Because asshole it was your turn to do it.
SG: You are such a dipshit
HE: At least I don't smell like shit...
SG & HE: Aaaaalllllllllleeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ME: WHAT
Them: Come tell us what you want us to do
ME: PUT UP THE FAN
Them: OH
This went on for like 3 hours and much to my amazment they finally did get the fan put up with only 3 shocking experiences.
Jesus I should have done it myself it would have been done in like 20 or 30 minutes. You all keep trying to get me to have kids. As you can clearly see by the above conversation I DO NOT NEED CHILDREN. I have a super Giant and a house elf.
Have you ever watched older people at church. You always and I mean always see at least one old guy that is picking his nose and examining what he's found in there. I'm wondering if that is his offering for the week. Then there is always the lady who is WAY over perfumed. Who would allow someone to spray on a entire bottle of Elizabeth Taylors White Diamond perfume and then leave the house. Thank Goodness I don't have asthema or I'd be dead by now. GAWD how stinky can one get.
Alright I'm going to go let the house elf turn me from a grey haired shrew into a hot and sexy red headed vixen.
I need something good to face tomorrow with. The durango goes in for a tow hitch to be put on then joy of joy I get to go have a root canal. If you hear of a dentist being thrown out of window in Texas you'll know he didn't give me enough novicane.
Until tomorrow my adoring public...
Oh Chicken e-mail me and tell me what's up with your computer. I haven't always been a witty writer..I actually have a computer degree...the elf and I will see if there is something we can help you with.
posted by Alekx @ 6:36 PM
6 Comments:
At 3:51 AM,
Julie said…
Free entertainment at your place!!
Men and their projects are always fun to watch (and cringe sometimes too).
Bless your heart w/ that root canal... get some good drugs!
At 5:42 AM,
kitten said…
some men should NOT have tools.
and if you are going to where perfume...why on earth would it be white diamonds? it just reminds me of old ladies...not that there is anything wrong with that...being that i WILL be one some day....
So glad to here things are just moving along swimming ly in the MOM dept......hope you can keep your sanity thru all this!
At 7:31 AM,
MomThatsNuts said…
WOW, and here I was so hopeful that my boys would outgrow it!!! Oh well at least its thier WIVES that get to have the fun, or thier husbands or whatever hey, I'm cool with whatever! Only 3 shocks eh? So can either of them tell the future yet or anything?? LOL come on hook a sistah up with some lottery numbers!!!
At 9:43 AM,
Burfica said…
hehehehehehehehehe Oh god I understand. When I had the kiddo, I realized I had already had one.
Oh yay root canal. ugggghhhhhh
and now I can't think of anything of any interest to say. hehehehee
At 1:23 PM,
Handsome B. Wonderful said…
That's why I stopped going to church!! LOL
At 5:27 AM,
BM, The Necessary Movement said…
Ha!! That is some great dialogue!!!
I am going to be saying "Fuckwad" all day now!!!
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