Holy Cold Nipples Batman

.....it's Texas, why is it 10 frigging degrees with the wind chill. It was 76 on Sunday, yesterday is was 26, today 31. That's before the wind chill. BRRRRRRRRRRR
I hate the cold hate hate hate it.

I'm one of those people that can't drive in ice and snow. But what sets me apart from most everyone else is I'm smart enough to admit it and get on the freeway doing 60 cuz I THINK I can drive in the stuff. I'm the one on the back roads going as slow as I need to. The dumb asses who do the stupid shit have big accidents, then I just have to breath and say, assholes are job security, ass holes are job security.

The husband unit is in the Christmas mood. He's listening to Christmas Carols right now. You know all the classics. Porky Pigs Christmas song, Grandma got run over by a beer truck, and that all time award winning song, by the fire drinking hot cocoa put me in the Christmas mood---I farted on Santa Claus.
I'm not kidding these are the songs he is listening to right now.

The dogs get to go to the vet for their Christmas present. Casper needs his anal glands done. (great visual huh) a rabies shot and I'm gonna put him on some arthritis medicine. Poor old guy is really stiff specially in this cold weather.
Zeus needs a rabies shot and he's got a sore on his front leg that he's been licking raw. Arughhhhh!!! But they need to go. I can't stand people that get pets then aren't willing to spend the money to take care of them..

So is everyone ready for the holidays. I still have to finish shopping for the elf. But I have Burfica, Gigantor, Kiddo and Captain Daddy's stuff all mailed. I even wrapped it this year. Some years I send it to Burf and say oh by the way only yours are wrapped you'll need to do everyone elses, but cuz she's the bestest sissy in the world she does it for me.

Have a great Wednesday everyone.
Safe travels and happy times

So Why Is It

So why is it when a man, especially a man you live with, eats something it always comes out his ass smelling like he ate road kill, RAW?

So why is it when you are looking at your sleeping rotweiller, and you see his butt hole open and a small pffffing sound, you know to run, run very quickly before the toxic wave hits you?

So why is it no matter what time you go to the walmart (that was built right behind your damn house) and no matter how nice the neighborhood, you ALWAYS meet white trash sally with her 8 dirty faced, snot dripping children in tow? (This includes the 3 am trip to the Walmart)

So why is it when you go to the movies, no matter where you sit in the theater, you are always tracked down by the family who's child will either not quick kicking your seat, or has to scream and cry half the movie, or has to keep up a non stop chatter?

So why is it when you tell the parents of the above mentioned child to control their child, or you are going to kill it, and cut it into small pieces and stuff it in the popcorn bag, said parents act like you've committed this terrible act of not loving their kid like they do.

So why is it when you are driving down the street minding your own business, the little old lady with the blue hair always tries to be in the same lane as you are in, in the exact same spot you are in.

Just some random thoughts for the day
Happy Friday all, time to go get my hair cut. I'm trying to let it grow out and it's in that stage that I want to shave myself bald.