Nitrogen Narcosis

Faster then a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...this is way better than drugs.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Bad Luck

...okay so I'm thinking it might be bad for me to be a fire dispatcher. The last several calls I've gotten, the person will call in with some sort of ailment, I'll get an ambulance dispatched right away, they will get there and the persons heart will stop beating. Is it me. Am I cursed????
Will any of my friends call me if they need an ambulance????
I know it sounds like I'm making light of the situation, and in a way I am. It's such a high stress job that you have to be able to step back and just toss it all away at the end of the day. But it is quite wierd how all this has happened when I'm on the fire side dispatching. Strange....

The back saga continues. The neo natzi physical therapist is killing me and I'm thinking the PT might be doing more harm then good. Something happened on Monday and I could barely move for 2 days. Which is not good cuz I had to teach 2 CPR classes on Tuesday. That was exciting, I can barely bend 1/2 inch forward and I have to get on my knees and show the new techniques for CPR. OUCH fucking OUCH
Wednesday made it a little bit better but tonight I'm in some major pain. I go again tomorrow but I'm over 1/2 way through my PT and my hopes are getting dashed that I'm going to have to go and have something invasive done. :-(
This is effecting my everyday life now. Walking hurts, much less humping scuba gear, and right now those Harleys to relive my days as a biker mama are definatly looking to be on the back burner...damnit I guess I'll just have to have the tee-shirt and pretend to be the bad ass biker babe from yesteryear.

No funny stories tonight from work, except for the lady who called 911 to say there was a big hole in her back yard and she thinks someone must have burried a body there while she was at work. Or the crazy old man (poor guy) who was having hullicinations that there was someone standing behind his TV trying to steal it but not talking to him. Just messing with his TV. Poor old fella was seeing things. Luckily his wife got there and took him into hand.
Other than that I'm in to much pain to try to be funny or snarky.
Happy Friday everyone
Love ya all

Thursday, March 23, 2006

one of these days

I'll actually get around to posting on a regular basis. But I've been way to busy with the job, with the animals, with the exercise with the everything going on in this crazy world called life.
But I know you still love me anyway and I still love you. (yes Mike the back room is still love and not just using you for your body)

The back problem is out of control. But I'm going to this bull dike dominitix that is charading as a physical therapist. Her name is Minogn (like the steak) Apparently to help with disk buldge and degenerative arthritis the cure is to use a medeval device much like the rack. Strap you into this thing until you can't breath and your skin is brusied and battered, then turn on a machine that proceedes to pull you apart at over 100 lbs of torque. I've said cuss words this week that I didn't even know that I knew. However I guess godzilla knows what she is doing, alebeit I'm sore as a mother bunny humper it does seem to be working. I can actually reach the ground with my fingers and stand back up without having to duck waddle over to something sturdy to stand back up because of the pain. They are now talking about ordering me some home device so I can rack myself in the privacy of my own living room isn't that exciting.

Work has been frantic the last 2 weeks. And I've made a discovery that's not so startling but one tries to sheild themselves from it. The general public is a bunch a babies and over all just really fucking stupid.
Tonight there was a power outage from a transformer blowing up and I received no less than 50, count them 50 9-1-1 calls from "citizens" wanting to inform me the power is off, and what time will it be back on (I'm the police department not the frigging electric company) and demanding that we send an officer to sit in front of their house until the power comes back on. (I'm sure you all know that I jumped right up and did that immediatly)
Oh and if you pull into your garage, with the lights of your car on, and nobody is in the garage and the door sticks as it's closing a foot above the sidewalk. You don't have to call 9-1-1 to have an officer come out and look around your house to make sure there are no burglars there and then when the officer arrives insist that he or she attempt to crawl in this one foot opening because you are still to scared to get out of your car. ~~sigh~~

On a closing note information that you might not have known. ANY phone with a battery in it, (even the old cell phones that are no longer activated) will dial 9-1-1 no matter what button combination your press it dials 9-1-1 so for God Sake if you are gonna let your baby play with the old phone take the friggin battery out so I don't get 100 calls on the emergency line listening to your child babble into the phone and then have to tie up my officers sending them out to make sure everything is acutally okay.

Okay I'm done ranting.
I'm off to eat pain pills and drink tequilla.

Happy Friday everyone

Monday, March 13, 2006

Weekend antics

so there is a reason I live in Texas, my second state of choice, of course Arizona is still my first place I want to live. But yesterday was 89 degrees out. In March and it's close to 90. What great weather.

It was to nice a day to stay inside so off we went first to K&G to find the house elf a new suit, since he's got a couple interviews this week. He's hating his job so I told him to go find a new job that he'll like. He'll find one and hate it within a year or two and we'll be right back here again, looking for a job. I hope he can find one that he loves doing.

Then we went over to Ft. Worth to this museum sort of place. It's called Log Cabin Village and there have been like 11 log cabins relocated and restored to this little village and there was all these 100+ year old artifacts in all the cabins. I love history like that. The old west, middle ages times, just the past in general.
The house elf and I are trying to spend some time together, because, and only people in the situation understand this. Taking care of a sick parent can be distraious on a marriage, and that's where we are at right now. Struggling to make things work. We'll see.

After the log cabin village we went and drove around down town Ft. Worth, and found the funniest little restrant, we didn't stop to eat cuz we were laughing to damn hard. It was an Asian fast food place called Woc and Roll.
If I have to explain it, then it won't be funny to you ever. I however almost peed my pants laughing so hard.

After that we went and had a nice dinner, then home and passed out for a couple hours. Then watched 2 movies. Saw II and Into the Blue. Liked em both alot.

Then I went back to bed. I haven't slept but a couple hours a night with how badly my back is hurting. OWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Today I see the doc for a new game plan. I think I want to start a decompression therapy, that is about 85% effective. I want to exhaust everything before I start any sort of invasive treatment.

Okay I'm off to clean cat poop (where is my damn turd burgular dog when I need him)
and to iron stuff for the house elf's interview.

Happy Monday all

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Ha...still not dead

nice try you all with the hate mail and the letter bombs but once again I've evaded your evil plot to rid the world of me. So phffffftttttt

Okay so really I got nothing which is why I've avoided coming to write cuz I really hate boring you all with NOTHING..which by the way did I mention I got right now...Oh I said that already...damn, not only do I got nothing but I'm losing my nothing mind.
So maybe a little randomness...

First...OWWWWWWWWWW fucking owwwwwwww I'm sore. I swam like a mile the other night. All of it free style, no lazing out and doing side stroke or breast stroke. (I can't even get the house elf to do the breast stroke but I digress) And today I can barely walk, I can barley lift my arms, I can just damn barely anything. Did I say OWWWWWWWWWWWW

Next...Nope I got nothing

Third...Please do not call 911 and scream at the poor dispatcher in spanish...I don't speak spanish, I understand a little but not when you are screaming at the top of your lungs. Oh and if you are a spanish interpurter, do me a favor, actually tell the dispatcher that the person screaming in my ear has been assulted with a weapon and the person is still in the area. DAMNIT, this is important information that I could really use before sending my officers into a building...How the hell this interputer got her job I'll never know but she needs to be fired. It took me 19 minutes to pry out of her what this woman was screaming when the woman said it in the first 90 seconds of the conversation.

Fourth...not still nothing

Fifth...if I don't get some relief for my back pain soon I'm gonna chop off the lower half of my body and donate it to the local pimp so maybe he can get some use out of it. The pain has gotten so bad I can't even bend over in the mornings. I had an MRI and at least I don't need surgery but will see my primary doc on Monday to discuss options. The VOX-D is looking good right now. It's like a rack the chriopracter puts you on and streaches your spine to 1) get rid of disk bulge and 2) to retard the degeneration (as in arthrits) happening in my poor little spin.
I'm thinking all those miles put in on a Harley, and just plain abusing my body when I was younger may have something to do with my current condition. But DAMNIT it's starting to effect my scuba diving and you know that I can't let that happen.

sixth...Nope still not a damn thing to blog about

seventh...my butt itches

eighth..I'm done boring you for now. Love you all, send prayers my way, I've been up and down and have slowly been going through my mom's stuff and well Fuck it's just hard. No getting around it. It's hard.
By the way..Hug your moms, dads, brothers, sisters, spouses, kids today cuz you don't know if they'll be gone tomorrow.

Happy what the hell ever day it is right now.
I'm contemplating Tequilla till I barf or pass out, or barf then pass out...or passout and barf, which ever happens first.