Nut Bars...I Perfer Almond Joys

So there I was on Saturday night at work. And it was busy busy busy. Lots of loud party complaints, the usual people beating the hell outta each other when they get to drunk blah blah blah, and my 9-1-1 line rings at about 1:30 am. There is some guy on the other end of the phone who starts demanding my name and badge number. I give them to him and ask him what his emergency is. He screams in my ear BITCH I'm getting to that if you will just listen to me. Patiently I say yes sir, how can I help you. He then starts this story of how he's been walking all day looking for his girlfriend and his feet have blisters blah blah blah.
Trying to assertain what his emeergency is I ask him if he needs an ambulance (blistered feet and all) where as I get called a bitch again, and he starts spouting off how he is recording this phone call and my ineptness will have me fired before morning. I understand I tell him, can he please explain the nature of his emergency so I can get him the proper help he needs. Give me your supervisor he says. (by this time I've had my partner dispatch 2 officers) And if I don't give him an officer right the hell now he's going to blow up the police station to cure my inability to get him any help. So we have the supervisor go out there as well.
By this time the man has hung up on me after several other colorful expectivicitives about my race, gender and general attitude.

So the officers and supervisor get out there, and he calls back saying he's not going to the door for the officers because 1) they are not real officers, they are mob members that we have sent to kill him and 2) because the supervisor is a dirty cop that sells crack cocaine to little kids.

Can you say NUT BAR

Well this goes on all night from 1:30 until almost 6am. He is calling almost every 30 to 60 seconds on 9-1-1. Of course we have to answer every call he sends. Cuz we didn't have enough reason to bust down his door.
All night long we had things like because of his voice recognition software he knew our last names, and where we lived, our childern's names blah blah blah. He had the police department bugged and hidden cameras around the area so he could see us talking to him. (I wonder if he seen me flip off the phone)
What else...Oh Condalisa Rice is his sister and she's going to see me fired and then jailed for improper handeling of a 9-1-1 call.
I MUST call the FBI in Jackson Mississippi because he is an undercover agent needing help.
He's going to shoot himself with a 9mm. He is in love with me, but my partner wants him because she likes black guys with big cocks.
He won't talk to the supervisor because ths supervisor wants my promotion and he's not going to allow that since he's in love with me.
He's ordered a Black Hawk to bomb the city starting with the police department. Can I hear the chopper coming in now.
He set my house on fire with my 3 children in it (he must have had bad intel on this one no kids here)
So on and on it went. Both My partner and I would hang up on him every time he raised his voice or said a cuss word. Which suceeded in really infurating him but I couldn't have officers posted at his door step all night long.
Finally at about 5:45 he calls up screaming..You F'ing Bitch get me officers out here or I'm gonna blow my brains out. He then told my partner he'd come outside for any officers he just wanted to come get his cameras and bugs out of the PD. So we sent over 2 officers and he finally came outside and they took him into custody and wisked him off to the loonie bin.
Thus was my Easter night into morning...having the life sucked from me by a nut bar.

On a side note, I had my first really real migrane today. Not fun, everytime I seen light it made me throw up violently. Thank goodness I have eye covers I wear for when I work midnights. As soon as I put them on and made it totally dark in my eyes I stopped throwing up and then just passed out for almost 4 hours straight. My God how do people who suffer from regular migranes surive. I thought I was dying.
Not a fun day and damnit it was my day off.

Blood Baths and Hand Gernades

so I've got cramps and I feel like ripping someone's head off.
I know that is something you all wanted to hear about and have me share with you, but hey it's the truth and I never said that things on this blog would be pretty or even intresting for that matter.

So it's been an intresting week with car chases, and foot chases and stolen vehicles from car jackings. And of course the usual people beating the shit outta each other and drunks driving the wrong way on the highway blah blah blah. But at least in my job I can NEVER say same shit different day cuz it's different shit EVERY single day. Makes life moi intresting.

So it's yard sale season. I don't know about you all, but though I live in a nice one story 4500 sq foot house, I'm trailor trash from way back and there is nothing I like better than elbowing my way though the trongs of other sweaty, tank top wearing no armpit shaving, crack whore yard sale freaks out looking for a bargin and jewing down the seller from a dollar to 10 cents for that shirt I LOVE. Last week I got 2 litographs of reef fish by an artist out of Hawaii. I talked the lady down to 6 dollars for the 2 of them. Looked em up on line and one of them is worth about 60 bucks the other right around the 300 dollar area. Look out e-bay here I come.

Nothing much else going on except I finished with the dominitrix physical therapist and she sent me home with my own rack unit so I could continue to punish myself without her around. Ughhhh. However I'm seeing a little improvement so I'll keep on with the self abuse for a bit longer since the equipment was 3000 dollars per piece and I had to get 2 differnt things. Hopefully it really is an improvement and I won't have to go get shots stabbed into my spine to reduce the pain.

Okay I'm off to find a hot pad cuz the homicidal manic thoughts are back along with the cramps so I better get away from all living creatures for the time being.