Nitrogen Narcosis

Faster then a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...this is way better than drugs.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

How secure do you have to be?

...How secure in your manhood do you have to be in order to drive a Bright floresent Neon pepto bismol pink Lincoln Navigator. The entire car, not highlights or pin striping but the whole care being this gawd awful color

I kid you not I was driving home and seen this car pass me. Complete with Fuzzy yellow dice on the rear view mirror.
I even took my shades off 3 times to make sure that I wasn't seeing a color that actually wasn't there..Nope it was worse with the shades off.

So guys how secure do you have to be?

I'm not secure enough in my womanhood to drive this car.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

How friggin' Stupid do you have to be

.........How friggin' stupid do you have to be in order to be a parent.

I can't belive the stupidity of some people. In today's world and society would you as a parent, with all the child preditors out there, would you put a sticker in the window of your vehicle, with your child's name, school, team and uniform number on it.

DUH FUCKING DUH idiots. Then you go crying and whinning when something happens to your kid. I in know way condon any crime against children, but I mean if you are a parent and you are advertising all this in your vehicle that you drive all around many towns telling everyone your childs name and how to find them, what the hell do you expect.

Same with blog land. I love my blog family, I love to read about the families and daily lives. But why would you post your childs name, sports teams, your town and state, their PHOTOS for christs sake. I mean you read about me, how I will be working at a police department. Am I telling the truth? Am I really a upstanding member of society that belives in laws, the police and the American Way. Well yes I actually am, but do you know that for sure?
It's easy enough to get my information and find out I'm not to much of a freak. But who else is reading your blog. Who else is looking at your vehicle with this advertisment on it.

Grow some brains parents....please be smarter with the welfare and innocense of your kids.
I'm tired of watching the news with a child being kidnapped, raped, murdered, and I sure am not looking forward to taking those calls when I start my new job.
Help me out. Don't make me have to take those calls because you aren't smart enough to protect your kiddo.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Finally

After all the weeks you've all listened to me whinning about job hunting, getting jobs, hoping for a new job that I really want. I'm happy to report that I got THE phone call from the police department this morning. 300 applicants, 1 position 8 weeks later and I have a start day in 2 weeks.
So after doing a peliminary interview, filling out a 30 page back-ground invistagation packet, a oral board interview in front of 4 of the top folks at the PD, a live senerio exercise, 1 physical, 1 drug screen, 1 polygraph and 1 physc test later I was the top person. 1 in 300 I think is something to be quite proud of.
After I got the phone call I thought I better go tell my Supervisor and give him 2 weeks notice but then go to thinking that I've spent the last several hours making the man's life very miserable.

I work with this other lady, she is very good about finding people stealing cell phones from camera footage, and I happen to be the person that finds sleepers. Like our contract guards. So last night of course one of the contract people were sleeping so we called the LT at 2 am to tell him. Then passed it onto the contract supervisor.
So I have this guard pulled up on camera, and when my supervisor came in after 30 minutes I tell him you might wanna go over there cuz the guy is asleep again. Sure enough he was. I as well as my supervisor hates sleepers. DAMNIT I don't do it, I just can't understand anyone who sleeps on the job

Then we had a complaint about this contractor (electrication) guy who was giving one of our officers a bad time. Bullying this little 80 year old man, telling me to F off and other profanities.
1) You do not bully or threaten one of my team mates
2) You do not bully older folks
3) You DO NOT BULLY the father of the man hiring me at the police department

So I spent several hours with video footage finding this to be something pretty regular, so I complied all the evidence for the Lt and for the contract supervisor. ~~Sigh~~
So why the hell would you have a good paying job, be brought from out of town and paid all expenses for the out of town trip and then act the fool like this? I just don't get people.

Then to top it off another officer came in this morning while I was compling evidence, assumes I'm getting evidence against someone else and starts yelling at me that I have no right, that this guy is a long time employee and blah blah blah.
1) I never get to know people on a site I work security employees or contractors
2) This way I can always look at evidence objectively
After listening to this fellow officer bitch and moan I finally told him to get the hell off my post and get to his own damn post. So he screaches his tires out of the gate then starts calling the Lt. every 10 minutes to bitch about me and things he feels I've been doing.
The LT finally had to tell him to shut the hell up, as nothing this guy was saying isn't anything that the Lt hasn't been told by ME. DUH

So since I made my supervisor have such a bad day, and all this before 8 am I figured I wait until this next morning to ruin his whole week.

I start the new job on Nov 10 at 0800. Thank you everyone for the positive energy vibes you sent my way.
I'm sure as a public safety dispatcher there will be decent stories in the future to come.

Friday, October 21, 2005

What a Week

...........so as we know I've been working the midnight shift doing Security. But I've had a application with one of the local police departments.
Tuesday morning I get a call from the Sgt asking if I can meet with the Assistant Chief of Police that day.
So once again not having slept off I run to the meeting where they give me a conditional offer of employment. I just have 4 items to pass. A physical, a drug screen, a polygraph and a physc test.
I've done the physical and the drug screen on Tuesday. I've had to run around and get copies of a prescription. I had horrid back pain last Sunday and had like 3 darvoct left over from the dentist back in Jan so I took them on Sunday and Monday. Of course this makes my drug test come up positive. I had tossed the bottle and didn't have it so the doc at the screening test acts like I was out buying pills on the corner. So I had to get some paper work showing the jerk that it was my perscription. Sheesh. That doc isn't back until Sunday so the PD won't have an answer on that until Monday.
Took the polygraph on Thursday, the examiner says that he's never seen someone come so close to flatlinning a polygraph in all the years he's been doing it. He thought I was dead except for the cuff reading my pulse and my breathing.
Today I took the physc exam, I didn't hear anything so I'm assuming I passed it. We'll see. Hopefully on Monday or Tuesday I'll get the permanat job offer.
Kids when they told me the pay grade I almost fell out of the chair. This city really takes care of their public service employees.
Wish me luck kids this is something that I really want!!!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

?

So what do you do when you are just to tired

.......to sleep
........to care
.........to keep trying

So what do you do?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

How the hell did that happen

........so I've had like 4 hours sleep in the last 3 days. (Yes Mike I'm still drooling, but I'm telling you it's you not the lack of sleep hehehe)
Yesterday I've finally hit that good REM sleep, you know the kind where you are having wet dreams and you ain't gonna wake up just have that sleep orgasim and move on to the next dream. Well I've been in this state maybe an hour..and the frigging phone rings.

It's the house elf. "Honey I'm at the XYZ car dealership and they said I can't trade my truck in for this little Scion I want"
Me: Kasnargle, narf, hork, gunaff
House Elf: Okay call me when you get dressed and are ready to leave for XYZ
Me: Kasnuff, gagly nokum shdly...
House Elf: I love you too

What the Hell I've just missed out on that great deep sleep orgasim, I've had one hour of sleep, I have to be to work at midnight and I have to go to XYZ car dealership for I'm not sure what.
Fuck it..I get dressed and off I go to the dealership....somehow 5 hours later and me almost being late for work we've traded in a HUGE Dodge RAM pick up that takes $75.00 dollars in gas a week for a cute little Toyota Corolla that looks like the gas will be much much better.
I'm not sure what happened, I don't even know the color of the car or the color of the interior. I think the outside is green. I think I test drove it last night...I'm not sure though...

I think I kept everything safe and secure at my job last night...I was kinda out of it.
So I guess when the house elf gets home I'll go look at the car we bought.
Holy shit remind me not to answer the phone anymore and just stay in my happy little erotic world.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Human Pinball

So I'm still wandering around the house drooling and bumping into walls and funiture....If one of you got some paddles at different areas of my home you could wiz me around like a human pinball. That could be fun when I'm naked. Or it could be scary depending on how much you like me naked.

As you can see I'm still trying to get used to the damn midnight shifts. But I would rather work nights and not be around the STUPID people that seem to inhabit the daylight hours.

Holy shit there is this new girl that was hired. What a fucking moron she is. We ended up in training togehter on Monday so me being the wonderful nice person that I am invited her to sit with the rest of the security personal so she didn't feel left out. Sometimes I'm such an idiot, and should be hit in the back of the head. She was at our table for exactly 15 minutes before I was chewing off my own arm to get the hell away.

What is it with 20 something years old that THINK they have been there and done that. EVERYTHING bigger and better than anyone else, and you can tell when they open their mouths that they are so full of SHIT. This chick is one of those. She'll start talking and all that falls out is BS. Then you call her on it and she gets huffy because of course even though you are 20 years her senior and really have been there and done that, she is the only one that knows anything.

One of the things that spilled out of her garbage hole was she was talking about applying for 9-11 dispatcher. (you guessed it, the one that I'm in the final running for) And she is at the table talking to me, and 2 other officers (both retired police officers) and she's talking about how she went to the oral board interviews but she didn't pass the board. (She got a 2.8, I got a 5.8 and was told I passed with the highest score) But then she proceeded to tell everyone that the police department told her they were not going to hire anyone because they liked her so much they were going to hold the position until she could re-apply and they could help her pass so they could hire her. DAMN I guess I have NO chance to get hired there now eh. What do you all think should I give up my hopes of being hired? Since after all the PD is going to hold off until they can hire this woman.
And when she told this story about the PD holding the job both retired police officers horked coffee out their noses. I think I'm going to have to get them sinus surgery now. Hot coffee...scorched sinuses, blisters on the insides of their noses. It's an ugly ugly site.

Gawd DAMNIT I hate stupid people

Okay I'm done bitching...I'm leaving now.