Soon

Will post soon and try to use your ideas in a singe post
Just in crisis communication class right now and I'm wore out.
You can leave me a note telling me how much you love, adore and worship me. Might get me in gear sooner.

hehehe
I'm a whore and I know it.

HOW

good lord how can I answer 911 calls all day talking to the cream of society and not have one single intresting thing to post about

any ideas?????
anything

if you leave me a comment about a topic, any topic I'll try not to bore you and will write about that topic

come on people help me the hell out. I'm pathetic and begging here

aruuuughhhhhhhhhh

Holy Grapes Batman

did you know that when you go to something called Grapefest, in a town known for it's vineyards and winery's the fest consists of tasting several different wines, oh and some beers, and you come home quite buzzed and have a killer headache the next day (which is today)

that is all.

Thankful

Today 9-11 is a day for America to once again mourn.
To look back on the horror inflicted on us and innocent people, but times of mourning always should come to an end and lessen.
This morning I was thinking about a friend, one that I met on the internet, he and I have been though good times and bad times, happiness when each of us found our soul mates and married them. We have never met in person but I feel very close to him.
He was in tower 1 when the plane hit. He got out and away. Many other people got out and away that day. We should be really thankful for those lives.

At the same time I remember the ones that didn't get out. And send up prayers for their families.

Also being in the profession I'm in, I remember the men and women of law enforcement and the firefighters that ran into these buildings trying to save people and that never came out. There is a hole in my heart for them and for their families, I can't even imagine losing one of my guys or gals, it would be devastating. I just wish people remembered how they treated the police and firefighters for several weeks after 9-11 and continued to be as thankful for them today as they were then. They still do the same job, they still run into buildings where everyone is running out of trying to save lives and property.

I am thankful for the men and women who still do the job today even though they are treated with less then respect.

The Great Frog Hunter

So I'm sound asleep the other night. I hear the dog bounding off of walls. I get up, put my surgical shoe on, hobble into the bath room (the dogs favorite room to lay in I guess it's cool) And he's kangaroo hopping all over the bathroom. I'm figuring he needs to go out.

I put him out he runs around the yard for a bit and comes back in. 30 minutes later I hear this gagging sound. I leap up strap on the damn shoe again, hobble into the bathroom and the dog has drool hanging off his chin. I check him to make sure he's not choking, he starts kangaroo hopping again. So I kick his little ass outside again. He runs around and comes back inside. 30 minutes later kangaroo hopping again. I've had it so I get up, yup strap the damn shoe back on drag his little butt out to his kennel to sleep the rest of the night. Ahhhh finally blessed sleep.

7am Ding dong goes my door bell like 200 times (I only wish I was kidding) I figure the scuba elf has locked himself out, so I get back in my shoe, hobble run to the front door and it's my f'ing mother in law wanting to talk to the elf. FUCK if he doesn't answer the door he's not here there is no DAMN reason to ring my doorbell 200 times.
Muttering I head back to the bedroom and there is a dark spot on the carpet.

Hmmmm I'm guessing the stupid puppy crapped on the floor during the night again. Then the damn spot HOPS, then it hops again. Son of a bitch, he brought a frog in during the night and that's what he was chasing all night until I locked him up.
I had to sleep all night with a FROG. I hate frogs. Hate hate hate hate frogs.

Damn dog.

Things I'd never thought I'd say

This post is kinda dedicated to Aza's beautiful fiance.
When we first get engaged, life is a whirlwind, we feel romantic, we feel IN LOVE and nothing our soon to be spouses do can ever be wrong because they are so damn cute and cuddly and perfect. This lasts for about a year, then you start realizing you are saying phrases that you never in your life thought you'd be saying or hearing your adorable little cuddly fuzzy bear say to you.

1. Stop picking at my tits that is not romantic

2. What just crawled up your ass and died

3. If you fart that dead thing again you are sleeping outside (or walking depending if they think farting in the car is funny)

4. I'm making you an appointment with the doctor, that smell coming out of your ass can't be good or normal.

5. Jesus Christ did you eat road kill for dinner

6. Please stop picking your head and eating the shit you find up there.

7. Hunni If I didn't make gravy for dinner, that spot on the counter isn't gravy, it's dog food.

8. Stop wiping your boogers under my car seat

9. Please pull your pants up and stop showing your butt crack in public.

10. Please stop rubbing your nose on the pages of my new book.

Things you never thought you'd hear your spouse say to you.

1. HUNNI!!!! Come look what I left in the toilet for you.

2. Don't wash those they are still clean (Note: usually said about week old underware)

3. That fart snuck out.

4. I have to take a shower, my balls smell like ass

5. That's gonna be itchy when it dries

6. I don't think that one was a fart.

7. Hunni come smell my finger

8. My poop looks like it's own island

9. But a vacume cleaner is a good birthday present

10. Sniff my feet and tell me if they stink

Ahhh the joys of marriage.
I'm so happy for Aza and his upcoming nuptuials.

Any of you have any items to add to this list I'd love to hear them.