I've been tagged

I think Mike is tired of me being sad and not posting so he tagged me.
What a cheap ass way to make me post cuz he knows I can not refuse him anything he asks me to do. (HA Let you imagination run away with that!)

The rules: The tagged "victim" lists 8 different 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner

Sex: Male

1. A penis

2. A tounge

3. The ability to laugh at that farting noise you make when having hot pig sex

4. Honesty is a must!

5. Must realize that ripping off my underware only works in the movies, in real
life it's just tugging on my panties giving me a weggie.

6. Candles on the headboard during hot monkey sex is not a good thing. Hot wax
hurts.

7. You must give as much as you get. Then everyone is happy

8. Did I mention a penis


Okay I'm trying to get my snark back. Did it work?

I'm not gonna tag anyone cuz I'm not sure when I'll have time to go read blogs again. I got mom from the shake and bake yesterday and am taking her home to AZ this weekend which is where she really wanted to be. Thank you everyone for your love and support during mine and Burfica's loss. You don't know how much we appreciate all of you.

Back when I can.
Until then...for the love of God don't call 911 and say, my dog died can you come get it. We can't...Sorry.

If you linked her change it

Okay guys I've been screwing with Idaho Kitten's blog and if you'd already linked her it's been changed so use my link here or at the side bar to fix yours and if you ain't been over to say hello what the hell are you waiting for damnit, get her lazy butts over there.

I miss you

I miss you mom more than I could ever tell you.
Thank you for letting me hold you the last few heartbeats of your life.
Have fun with the horses you now get to ride. May the lake be full of all the fish you want to catch. Don't kick me in the ass to hard cuz we all know I need it alot.

I miss you mom

7-14-1945 to 1-17-2006

A New Kitten on the Block

Hey all...I promise to have a snarky post soon, of more exciting 9-1-1 calls, and whooooo hoooooooo I made it through the 2nd phase of training, and have about 4 more weeks of training before I'm cut lose on my own. (fingers crossed I'm starting to think I may actually be able to do this job)

Anyway we have a new Kitten on the block. As most of you have figured out, Burfica is my sister, Dorko is my ex-roommate and one of my best friends. Well now I've sucked another one of my bestest friends into blogville. She is a wonderful lady (but don't tell her that she'll get a big head) with beautiful twin kiddos. They take after their mama in their looks. Cuz they are all to sexy for themselves.
So please take a gander over to the newest kitten's blog and give her a big blog family welcome. And any help and assistance you can.
MIKE AND AZA give it a week before you are peaking at her boobs okay.
Thanks all, you are gonna love kitten.

ever feel like

you've been kicked in the gut and in the kidneys at the same time?

That's my life...I think the kidney feeling is because I've deceided it's time to abuse my body again and start a routine of hard work outs. Swimming, bike riding (which I've lost my ass callusos) tread mill, elepitical, and weights. I guess having my back out has made my kidneys hurt. Either that or I've got one whopper of a fucking infection going on.
So I'm walking around right now looking like a little old lady with a severe case of ostoperosis. I'm all hunched over and shuffling along.
Did I mention I hate working out. Why is it that something that hurts so damn bad is supose to be so good for us.
Damnit, I want a super-model body, I want to be able to eat whatever the hell I want when I want, I want to be independently wealthy and be able to go scuba diving where ever whenever I want and for fuck sake I don't wanna have to work for it. Whaaaaaa
Stomping foot.
Okay I'm gonna go cook something healthy since you all won't let me have what I want.
Blah

2005

Okay I got this idea from Burfica who got it from Tim so I guess I'm just 3rd rate....
But I'm taking the first sentance or so from the first post of every month of last year. Let's see what I bored you all with last year.

Jan ........and think...Gawd what happened to me I used to be kinda cool.

I looked in the mirror this year and thought the same thing...what happened to the tequilla guzzling, harley riding sex pistol of yester-year..However this year when I looked in the mirror I was quite drunk..

Feb.......hmmmmmmmm I love darvocet or any other pain medication for the matter.

Mind altering drugs especially when told by the Dr are needed are still a favorite.

Mar.......can anyone tell me what day it is.

This was when my mom was so sick and we thought she was dying, however I've seemed to said this very line alot over this past year.

Apr
Holy Moly the lake was colder than a mother bunny humper this weekend. Hmmmm does anyone have any idea how cold a mother bunny humper is?

Well can anyone tell me how cold a mother bunny humper is? I'm still waiting for an answer

May
I had a great post all ready and now I can't remember and it's all Burfica's fault...she went and was nice to me damnit.
She couldn't go and post on how I used to hide my rotan cigar box full of illigal drugs in her underware drawer so that if mom found the stash she'd get in trouble not me. (ha the joys of setting up your 7-year your junior sister) or how I used to knock her around for entertainment when there was nothing good on TV. Now my reputation is totally ruined.

However when Burfica tells you I tried to run her over I'm denying it. I was just going down to the burger place to get us something to eat.

Jun
......What the hell do you mean "were you gone Alekx"
POUT

I hate it when nobody misses me.

July
First off I'd like to say to anyone that happens by my humble blog (okay so humble and Alekx are not words that should ever be in the same sentance)

I've humbled alot over this year I think. But I'm still want to say thank you to all our soldiers past and present for everything they do for us.

Aug..........I'm back from Arizona; Happy and sad at the same time. I'm so happy to be home to my handsome hubby and starting the sex on all the major appliances.

This is when I helped my best friend of 20 years move back to Alaska, knowing I won't be able to see him in person for quite some time. I miss him wicked, thank god for the phone, but it's just not the same.

September.....I'm still alive I think. Not that anyone cares, but I think I'm still alive.

I'm not sure this is true. I think I might have died in September but my body just hasn't caught up yet.

Oct
So I'm still wandering around the house drooling and bumping into walls and funiture....If one of you got some paddles at different areas of my home you could wiz me around like a human pinball. That could be fun when I'm naked. Or it could be scary depending on how much you like me naked.

Any Bets that Mike is gonna have a comment about me being naked?

Nov........That would be things other than sour candies, bitter mellons (which my mother in law loves to cook with. Just make me gag and puke at meal times) and the sour apple puckers liquor (which makes you forget things when you do to many shots of this stuff)

This was my things that make you pucker post. And hearing someone in a empty warehouse at 4 am will still make your butt hole pucker up to your ears.

Dec.........A Ft Worth city police officer was shot in the line of duty while serving a warrent. The suspect shot him in the head and he has just passed away.

Wow that sucks to start the last month of the year with such a sad post. Please keep all our officers and their familys in your prayer or good thoughts.

Here's to a new year of blogging, making new friends, keeping current friends and re-uniting with lost friends.
I'm glad I'm part of your blogging family even if my posts and comments are sporatic.
I love ya all.