Yummy.......

wow...if any of you have been contimplating getting one of those rotesserie ovens that you see on TV. You know the one that says set it and forget it. Get it. This thing makes the best Chicken, and for Christmas I made a rib eye roast and holy medium well done beef batman how good can life get. This thing is worth every single penny you pay for it.
However when you take the fat that drips off of the meat (which is a good thing because now it's not being consumed by the humans) but when you take that fat and mix it with the dog food. It's your own damn fault when you can't stay in the room because the 100 plus pound dogs now have beef fat farts. I think I have brain damage.

I hope Santa was good to all of you this year. He was good to me and to the house elf. I got all kinds of Scuba gear that I've been putting off buying. And a HP photo printer so I can print out some of those underwater photos I take. The house elf got scuba gear and he got an SKS rifle. and we both got a ton of other stuff. Burfica, Gigantor and kiddo got us this awesome dragon sculpture. I have to open it and look at it.
While Chirstmas was nice Mom was here from the nursing home and she just wore my ass out. I don't know how the nurses and aides do it. We are trying to open gifts and I'm trying to cook and mom is I need to stand up, I need to sit down, I need to go to the rest room. I need a drink, I need some coffee, I need to stand up I need to sit down, I need to go to the rest-room, I'm hungry, I need to stand up. And yes she is not able to do things herself, so I had to do it all cuz I'm not going to have the house elf take her to the restroom blah blah blah. So she came at 10 am and by 10 that night I couldn't move I was so tired. I love mom but thank god for nursing homes cuz I'd have to smother her with a pillow if she lived her 24-7.

Yesterday as the rest of my Christmas present we went to six flags over Texas and rode a bunch of ride. I've been wanting to do that since I lost enough weight to finally fit on the ride. We went on the Titan, what a friggin' scary roller coster. I was screaming the whole time. I thought the house elf was laughing at me for screaming but when we got off the ride he looks at me and goes
Hunni!!
Yes Dear says I.
He goes. I was screaming like a little girl locked up in prision with a bunch of big black gay guys as my cell mates.
I about fell over on my wobbly legs when he told me that.
I was so amuzed I had to call Burf and tell her that.

Okay I'm off to take down the Christmas tree and get ready to go back to work. Blah
Leave me a message about your Christmas and tell me what Santa brought you.

How Inconvienet

is it that I wanted to go out to eat on Christmas day so I didn't have to cook and EVERYWHERE that was open last year isn't this year. Not one damn place can I find open for me to be lazy. Damnit! I can't understand people who want to say home on the holiday instead of going to work for my satisfaction. I'm so selfish.

So off I go looking for a rib eye roast to cook in my "set it and forget it" roterisser cooker. (quit telling me I've spelled all these words wrong I know it damnit, but I've been working all night and I don't care.) Don't cha know I'm expecting to pay a pretty penny for a rib eye roast and lo and behold I find a store with them on sale. I saved 40 bucks people....whoooo hooooooo.
Now I can set it and forget it....make a simple carrot salad, poo foo (yes miranda you take a tub of cottage cheese, a tub of whipped cream, a pack of red jello and a can of drained pineapple chunks mix it and you have poo foo) mixed berry muffins, deviled eggs and mixed green salad and I'll have a pretty lazy dinner, oh yeah I'm gonna make the famous cream cheese--whipped cream (mixed all togheter and poured into a graham cracker crust) pie for desert. So I guess i can pull this off.

Christmas shopping is DONE!! All gifts I mailed have been received by the receipients, (my best friend in Alaska couldn't wait to open his so he's already using it.) Damn if it didn't cost more to send the gift than to purchase it. Damn having to ground ship through Canada..Blah.


After tonight I'm off work for 5 days. How lucky is that. Apparently I started at the perfect time and ended up with a crap load of holiday pay that they have to burn up on me before the end of the year so I end up with 5 days off including Christmas. Very lucky for a newbie, but I gurantee it's not going to happen again for years to come. :-)

Okay I'm off to bed kids.

What A Day

First may I say, the phone booth is GONE, and I think I miss it. How fun it was to tell people I had a phone booth in my garage, now I can't say that. Bummer! I guess the enthusium the house elf had about it was kind of infectious. But he got a rifle from the cousin in law so he's more estatic about that than the phone booth. I can't wait to take him out shooting it (cuz I want to shoot it too)

Yesterday was off to see King Kong. I've always been a King Kong fan and found this one very good. I didn't once get bored through the 3 hours of it. I was a bit disappointed in the CGI in some of the parts. I hate when you can see it's obviously CG. I like to belive it's real. So in a couple areas it was disappointing because it looked fake, but overall it was the King Kong love story and quite enjoyable.

I had work today. Things in training are coming along. My confidence is building and it's starting to feel like I might (I hope) make it through training. However what the f*&K is it with this time of year. Everyone seems to think that because it's Christmas time they can beat the shit outta their wives, girlfriends and kids. Choking seems to be the thing this year. Christ, makes you wish that the officers could just shoot these assholes on site, but that'll get all the liberals screaming and it'll just get worse if we shoot them as well. (Bummer)

I'm going to again beg you all to look up your local non-emergency police/fire phone numbers and program them into your cell phone. 9-1-1 is not for you to call up because the neighbors dog is barking. I understand you can't sleep and it's making you cranky, but when you are bitching about the dog, there is a lady on the other line who is having a heart attack asshole.
When we came back to the guy with the barking dog he acts like we just sentenced him to death. (wishful thinking). So PLEASE PLEASE use 911 for emergencies and get the non emergency number for the other crap. (Of course I know all of you are smarter then the idiots that call up all night long.)

Happy Sunday everyone. Send me good vibes. I'm off to Wal-mart to pick up a few things and you all know how that is this time of year. If you never hear from me again you'll know I was killed in the stampede.

What is it with Men

and your gagets and just having to HAVE something that you absoultly do not need?
This weekend I finally had a Saturday off, which is something that has not happened for like 6 months, the house elf and I went out and about enjoying the warming after all the damn sleet.

What do I spy but a moving sale sign. Moving Sales are the best you all...you can get some awesome stuff at great prices. So in we turn to check out this moving sale. Unfortunatly it was pretty well picked over, so I look at the house elf and say okay lets go. But he had this glazed over look on his face. I waved my hand in front of his eyes but alas no response. Anyone married knows this is a danger signal, it means they have spied something they CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT.

Cringing inwardly, I start to follow his gaze, noting his dazed expression wondering how much foot stomping I'm gonna have to do to convince him he doesn't need whatever it is that has caught his eye.

Following his gaze I see a 10' tall metal something. Confused I look at the house elf and again at this metal monster, and back to the house elf.

Then I hear it...

It's a phone booth he breaths....a real phone booth. Again confused I look at this metal "thing" and my husband disappears into it. And he was right it was a real life, real size phone booth. The old kind that you actually walk into and it has a bench and a phone and when you close the door a fan and a light comes on. The same phone booth that superman changes into his superhero cloths. Now I'm having visions of my hubby in blue tights and a red cape. While my hubby is the best looking guy on the planet, I just don't want him having a gay moment in tights and a cape.

Right away I start snapping my fingers in his ear....saying NO hunni, NO we are not getting a phone booth. I finally break through the trance he's in and he gives me that look..the one where you feel like you just beat a new puppy. My heart broke but I had to stand strong, then he gets this look on his face and grabs his cell phone and runs.

My coniving little hubby calls my cousin's hubby, a very charming Mexican fella, and they conspire to buy this phone booth, and suddenly it's a done deal.

Banging head on a wall...WTF are these 2 going to do with a friggin' phone booth. Guys...any insight why you all have to have these gagets?

Happy Monday everyone

What the hell...

...just happened around here?
I woke up this morning and it was 12 degrees. This is friggin' Texas..and it's 12 degrees. My nipples aren't sure if they should be standing out doiong that pokey thing against the shirt. You know that thing that turns the guys on so much or just reverse and head inside to stay warm.
It spent the entire day sleeting yesterday, I couldn't even leave the house.
When we bought this house we were told that there would be a slight incline, by the builders, however nobody ever said that the slight incline would mean needing to have mountain climbing equipment to get up the damn yard or driveway, so when it sleets you can't leave the house because the incline is so severe you just fall down and slide down to the curb. I guess it saves time instead of walking down to the curb. It's the fucking getting on your hands and knees to get back up to the front door that sucks.

So it's cold and the dogs are loving it, so they wanna go outside, then they realize it's cold outside then they are whinning to come back in, then they realize it's cold outside and they wanna go outside to play, then they realize it's cold outside and want to come back in. If they weren't bigger than I was and could kick my ass I'd just knock em silly for acting like this.

Speaking of pets, when my mom moved here we brought her 18 year old cat with us. I figured this damn cat would be dead within a month making such a major move, but Nooooooooo kitty is in better health than my mom is. However she's going a bit insane in her old age. She will walk into a room and sit down, look around just blinking with this really confussed look on her face then she'll start YEOWLING at the top of her lungs like she's dying. As soon as you talk to her and she realizes she's not alone or where she is then she's fine for the next 10 or 15 minutes then we go though it all over again. But she can find the food, the water and the litter box and she loves to come get petted so she's not in any pain but damn with this constant meowing, some days I'm just thinking Die already damnit.
Does that make me an evil person.

Okay since I just finished putting up the tree and decorating it I guess I have to go wrap some christmas presents now. Besides Burf, Gigantor and kiddo would probably appreciate it if I get their crap in the mail.

Have a warmer day than I am.

pile of shit

.....no that's not my life today, even though I realize that's usually the drift of life around this house, but nahhhhh not today, just some random stuff to say.

I passed my phase 1 training at the new job and am on the way Sunday morning to phase 2. Hell if I'm not careful I might even become a real police dispatcher...oh wait public safety dispatcher cuz we do police and fire.

Last night was fun, a fire alarm and water flow alarm at a nursing home, poor old folks got evacuated in 30 degree weather. At least the firemen got the old folks back inside quickly then as soon as most of the firemen cleared from that got a call for an apartment on fire. Some asshole was burning their candles right next to the drapes. Okay I realize it's the season to be jolly but folks lets not make it the season to be burnt to a crisp and homeless. So please watch your live trees, don't set flamable items next to the fire place and for the love of God don't 1) overload the extension cords with all those purty christmas lights, and DON'T leave candles burning while you are in another room.
What else, ohhh there was the lady with the stolen truck, but it was stolen by her husbands friend who had a door key to the truck cuz her husband had just been arrested and this friend had just got outta jail....Oh and by the way there is no ignitation key cuz we had to use a screwdriver to pop the column so we could start it. hmmmmmmmm I've got two words....LOSER and LIAR.

Dallas/Ft Worth is under a severe weather warning, the sleet is already starting, the roads are already icing and it's gonna be a mess, because unlike me, who admits I can't drive in this crap and if I have to, will be doing 2 to 5 mph, but the people around here will be out driving like it's the Indy 500. Idiots. I feel sorry for my officers on the road tonight with the jerks.
It's already friggin' cold out and I wouldn't let the house elf go to work. He doesn't have a job that someone's life is in his hands. I told him log on from home and work from here...so he's fixing the vacume cleaner instead. Good house elf.

The officer that was murdered was burried Monday. Saturday another officer was shot several times. He's going to make it but this now makes 2 officers killed and 3 shot in the last month. Life is not good around here.

Okay Al Roker is on TV and he's being an ass....Gawd somedays he just needs to stay on the food channel and eat his way into death.

Don't forget Mike's over at I'm not touching you is having a little chat get together this evening. He's got all the information on one of his posts at his site. If you haven't visited his site yet get yer ass over there, he's witty, funny and hot as hell and I'd do him without him even begging.

I'm off for a nap then I guess I gotta put up the christmas tree and stop being a scrooge.

Another Falls

A Ft Worth city police officer was shot in the line of duty while serving a warrent. The suspect shot him in the head and he has just passed away.

Hank Nava per all the write ups was a good officer and died doing the job he loves. People are so quick to dog on police officers and to bad mouth them. But let me tell you all, it's a fucking war on the streets, and the assholes and drunks that these men and women have to deal with every single day make them heros.

A friend of mine was telling me he couldn't understand why an officer always realeases their thumb strap and has their hand on their weapon when making a traffic stop. Well that officer never knows when the person in the car is gonna try to shoot them. If I were still on the road I'd have my gun stuck in the face of everyone until I knew if they were a "bad guy" or not.

I'll be honest I don't have any patience for anyone that has bad things to say about police officers. I know there are some bad cops out there. They are humans after all and there are bad folks in all walks of life. But in general they are out there putting their lives on the line every shift they work. And for mostly their lives are on the line for a society of idiots that have no respect for the officer or for anyone else for that matter.

I'm proud to be part of a police department and my rule is to bring my officers home alive at the end of every one of my shifts.

While I respect everyones view points, if you got something bad to say about the police don't do it here or now.

I just feel sad about this today