Up Late

It's late..after midnight..and I have no idea why I'm up sitting at my computer...having to play 3 or 4 games of freecell everytime I click on something in BLOG waiting for it to load. We all moan and complain about it..but hell it's free so we can't really complain to much.
I had zilch happen today overall. Got up, made my half a bagel with lowfat peanut butter and sugar free jam..(which by the way gives you smelly farts..hey just thought I'd share with all my new friends) Went into the shop..the owner was there...apparenlty something happened at his full time job, he doesn't want to discuss it right now which leads me to belive it's something bad for him....He told me to go on home...but sensing he needed a friend I stayed around all day and I think he appreciated it.

Came home...had dinner, which nothing sounded good to eat. That's one of the draw backs of having Gastric bypass surgery, Food issues. I used to think to myself.."Man if I would just really hate food, it would be so easy to lose weight" Well hating the taste of food, or getting sick cuz something tasted good and you ate to much to fast sucks...Would I change it..NOPE...257lbs gone and I'm healthier then I've ever been...will not change it at all.

Now I'm sitting up blogging....what a life eh...

I was thinking of things I've done in the past...it's been a pretty incredible life up to this point...Never boring.
Things I"ve done...
>>>I've been a "biker bitch" Rode my own harley before it was "cool" for girls to ride their own bikes.
>>>I've been a bartender..in everything from a biker bar (with fights every 15 minutes) to a rock and roll bar..to a Mexican bar to an officers club...I've covered the whole spectrum
>>>I've been in law enforcement...Contract security police for the Army...anything from baby sitting a top secret box in the middle of no-where in freezing/snowing weather to cuffing and stuffing bad guys.
>>>I've written telecommunications contracts for the Department of Defense...Never think you know ANYTHING about contracts until you work on a DOD contract, where one contract takes up a room the size of a small apartment
>>>I've been a motel assistant manager...up until the point my night cleark was murdered by a physco and it was supose to be me working for her that night.
>>>I've been a student at 35 years old getting my first college degree and damn proud of it when I graduated Valedictorian
>>>I've been a druggie...and done things I'm ashamed of while stoned, high or drunk or all of the above
>>>I've used that experience with drugs and became a youth minister and have done things with kids that I'm very proud of.
>>>Now...I am a wife...a aunt (lil Gigantor), a sister, a daughter, a good friend I have my own jewlery business, and of course...a lean mean, scuba diving sex machine.

I hope I haven't bored you all with this blog if so just message me and tell me to delete the drival....

Oh yah...I also have tattoos..so here is the question to all of you...Who has tattoos...What are they and where are they.
I'll start..
I have 6
Left leg..knee to ankle...a castle in the clouds
Left Thigh...Pegsus in 6 shades of blue
Left Upper Arm...A Dragon spitting fire (Pink and Purple) (Hubby has a matching one on his left arm done in red and green)
Left Shoulder Blade...A Unicorns head
Right shoulder Blade..a Red Rose
connecting the tattoos from right to left shoulder blade all the way across my back is a tribal design with a Blue rose right in the center of my back between the shoulder blades, and entwined in the tribel is a vine of fushia colored roses..the thorns of the vine are dripping blood..it's very cool.

Super heros

Super hero of the day Thanks Kitten
Okay I have to say Thanks Alot Kitten..All I've done all damn day is make super heros on that damn link you had on your Blog.
Curse you girl....may all your children be born nekid. hehehehe
Luv ya though

Rainy Monday Morning

I hate friggin' getting up at 5 in the morning. There is a reason I quit a real job to work my hobby and my jewlery business. SO I CAN SLEEP IN...but no I had to get up at 5 so I could be at the hospital in Dallas for an upper GI. Gawd I hate driving to Dallas...especially on a Monday morning, after a 4 day holiday in the rain. Every jerkwad in the universe is on the roads.

Not only did I have to get up early, and drive with all the dimwits...but have you ever noticed that you can not eat or drink anything for 12 hours staight and it doesn't bug you so much...but the minute you have to have tests done and are told not to eat or drink anything after midnight, you wake up at 12:01 with the worst case of cotton mouth, craving something to drink, and then when you get up for real it's like you have not eaten in a month. Jeez...and then for the maddening drive through rush hour Dallas idiots, all you have to look forward to is the 3 flavors of barium...thick, thin and cat bile fizzy stuff. GAG!!!

So I go in for my test....the tech has all the stimulating flavors of barium on the counter...my mouth is like the Mohave desert, my stomach is telling me EAT now (I have a 3 oz stomach it can't complain as much as it was this morning...I don't get it) and the Doctor walks in and his name is Dr. CHOW...WTF with that.
Now I'm on the table in my very reveling hospital gown with my ass hanging in the breeze, and they begin to serve my yummy cocktails whilst taking photos of my insides...and well it's just hard to be sexy when you have the lovely white chalk lipstick thing going on and the cute little Dr. Chow is more intrested in your bowels then in your boobs. Sighhhhhhh...
Finally got all my insides photographed, out to the car to drink 3 gallons of water and eat a protein bar, only to get nasuas and want to puke it all back up which is why I was there for the upper GI to begin with.

As for the hour long drive with the nimrods. What is it with people that their brains meltdown when they get behind the wheel. I mean you don't have to go 5mph in the rain on the freeway...but it is prudent to slow down a touch for the road conditions. But you always get the two ends of the spectrum..that person who is in the fast lane doing like 25 in a 70 zone, or the person who with lots of standing water on the roadways is doing 110 hell bent for leather. So this morning 2 cars crash into each other...each catching fire. While a tradgey, both were being stupid drivers, now EVERYONE has to pay for it as traffic is backed up for like 18 miles on a major highway. Then the fella in the SUV (which of course made him indispensible) doing 90 around an unbanked curve with very wet roadways and lots of standing water...(hello it's been raining since 10:30 last night slides off the curve and goes upside down) I guess it's the old addage...never under estimate the power of stupid people in large crowds.

Finally I'm tucked in safe and sound at home, and the dumbest dogs in the world both have really bad farts, and feel the need to want to cuddle. I'm going to die before this day is over. Either I'll have to go back outside and a stupid driver is going to kill me or the dogs are going to gas me to death. I know you guys are out there laughing thinking it can't be that bad...but I looked over and the cats have on their bio-chemical overalls and rebreathers. The bird is laying at the bottom of her cage with her little feet sticking up in the air and both dogs are smiling at me. I'm a dead woman I tell you....

Good bye Cruel world, until I blog again

After Thanksgiving sales

I'm thinking the retail industry is trying to do it's own little part with controling the world population. I've never been a day after Thanksgiving sort of shopper. And good GOD what possesed me this year to go give it a try.
Adventure 1. Yet again the dreaded Walmart...There was a DVD player on sale that I wanted to get for my mother for Christmas. The flyer said the sale was from 6am to 11am so I set the alarm for 5:50, got up and threw on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt figuring to get there before the rush. The walmart is literally right behind my housing development so it's like 30 seconds away. Hubby and I get there at 5:59. Apparently this Walmart is 24 hour and started it's sell early so the parking lot was FULL, We fall into line behind about 40 other cars...(Yes you have to drive over there it is to hazerdous to walk the road between our development and the Walmart). I jump out and head inside as the hubby joins the circling full tank vultures. Hubby being brand new in the flock of course finds a parking place right up front. Inside is a mad house...people pushing and shoving each other out the way in order to get to a FULL palet of items. You can not even get a cart down the isles for the people just milling around dumbfounded and drooling. Finally make it to the DVD players on sale, grab one and begin the dance to the front of the store. Get to the cashier and I swear it's the sister of the gum puller so you can just image how that went. Get out to the parking lot and I've figured out a way to cause the vultures circling to have spasms and drop dead behind the wheel of their cars. You get to that prime upfront parking place, put your items in, wait for the flock to circle around waiting for you to pull out. Hit your head like you've forgotten something and start walking back toward the store. No kidding it looks like someone dropped a biochemical weapon for the all jerking and frothing at the mouth. This turned into great fun for about 6 times doing it...But then I remembered Texas allows you to carry a weapon, and I wasn't yesterday morning so I thought I'd better stop playing with fire before someone shot me.
Next stop was Kohl's. That lasted about 45 seconds. Opened the front door and there was 2 ladies literally in a slug fest over some item. I didn't feel like being charged with manslaughter over shopping so turned around and left.
That was it for my After Thanksgiving shopping...and I promise myself NEVER again will I do that.
On another note I'm quite proud of myself, after about a month of sporatic working out I seem to be back on track. Yesterday went for a 10 mile bike ride, today went outside for a 4.5 mile walk.
There are some satisfactions to exercising outside.

• surviving the walk...Texas drivers do not give up the right of way for anyone or anything
• getting the fresh air
• choosing the path that takes you 96% uphill, and not crapping out at the half way point and turning around to get the downhill advantage but actually sticking to the route
• watching the drivers go by you stuffing their mouth with big macs and french fries at the same time knowing you are doing something much better for yourself
• walking away from your blog when half way through it and doing your exercise before returning and finishing what you started.
• And just the satisfaction of overcoming the urge to stay locked up inside and to actually do something physical

I'll try to have more exciting things to write about tomorrow, or later today

Home Improvement and repairs

Did you all know if you hit dry wall with the heal of your hand, when attempting not to bash in the house elfs skull with a cast iron skillet it leaves a very large hole in the wall. You didn't??? Well neither did I until a few weeks ago, so there was this large hole in the hallway. My great friend Fran (who can do anything) comes over and she and I fix the wall, whilst the hubbys are off doing something destructive. Wall fixed the elf and I deceide to paint the hallway which we did and came out rather nice, except for those spots on the carpet that now match the hallway paint..Damnit anyway
Exactally two days later the elf is working up in the attic while I am doing paperwork for my business and hear this crashing sound akin to Day of Destruction, or Day After Tomorrow sort of storms hitting the house. The I hear this very muffled **Ah Fuck** as I run toward the garage and the attic opening, screaming Hunni are you okay...again I hear the muffled **Fuck** and he says do me a favor and go the the closet in the computer room. I'm like WHY and he says JUST GO in there please...So being the wonderful wifey that I am I comply, open the closet door in our computer/office room and there is a leg hanging in the closet...it's clad in blue jeans and reboks strangly like the cloths my hubby was wearing when he disappeared into the attic.
Of course seeing this leg hanging in space gives me a fit of giggles...I hear more explictivies tangled in with the push me up damnit comment...so freeing the elf from the man eating drywall of the cealing, I then discover the area that he has walked through from attic to main domicle is the area where the wonderful builders sprayed all that shreaded newspaper shit that is supose to be insulation. Once the elf's leg is removed from the closet cealing, now all this crap is pouring like a huge waterfall into the main house. This crap is impossible to clean up..if you every have anyone ask you to redo your home with this insulation, either run away screaming or pull a large caliber weapon on the person...Just don't do it, this stuff is AWEFUL.
The hobbit, bruised and batterd makes his way down from the attic, we make sure there is not bones protruding from the skin and no aterial bleeding, then pick up the phone calling the wonderful Fran..who begins to laugh wildly as I tell her the tale of whoa...Between snorts it seems that she JUST did the exact same thing only over her laundry room. We still haven't gotten the thigh sized hole fixed yet but should be quite an adventure when we begin..just because of that damn insulation.

Two morals to this story...use cast iron skillet not the heal of the hand
and Drywall in the attic will not support the weight of a house elf.
Dayum I should have taken a photo of the ghostly leg swinging from the ceiling

BURFICA

Sorry guys this is just a note to Burfica....Since I can't get hold of her and her phone is busy I'll assume she is checking Blogs
Call me kid either at the shop or on my cell

Adventures of Walmart Shopping

In my infinate wisdom I deceided that since the mutts were out of dog food and would be highly unhappy with me if I did not go get some more as a peace offering before going home last night I might as well just do a bit more shopping at the "super walmart" up the street from the house.
WTF ever possed me to go to friggin walmart at 7:00 in the evening 2 days before Thanksgiving.
Is it just me or does every retard in the solar system deceide to shop at this time.
Shopping at walmart at anytime is like running a gaulent through dimwits, half-breeds (animal/human) and just plain zombies, but it is ever so much worse during and close to the holidays.

So I pull in to a parking place about 250 miles from the front door, this should have been my first clue. I love to watch the people that will take an entire tank of gas circling the parking lot and end up with a parking place about 3 closer than the one I just chose. It's like watching vultures circle over newly squished road kill. Boy and do they get pissy if they've been circling for like 2.5 hours and then someone who just pulls into the formation finds a spot right up front. I swear I've seen anywhere from convulsions to rocket launchers when this happens.

I finally make it up to the front door after having almost been ran over by 6 or 8 of the circling vultures in the parking lot only to find the only cart left to take is the one that wobbles and pulls hard to the right, so now I'm doing this sideways shimmy with the cart down the isles.
Once inside now you find the second crowd. These are like do-do birds. They seem to be standing around displays of q-tips or lawn fertilizer making crowing sounds like this is the best buy they have ever come across. Most of them have glazed looks on their faces, drool dripping down their chins and snot bubbles popping from one or the other of their nostrils. It's like pod people have taken over..I keep waiting for them to look at me, point and start that high pitch scream informing the others that there is an alien in their midst. It's just damn unsettling I tell you.

I finally run the gaulent through the store and get everything I need (or so I think). Oh and when has it been okay to let 500 screaming little rug rats with no adult supervison lose in the bike isle. I swear to GOD there were at least 500 children ranging in age from 6 months to 12 years old on every sort of bike or trike or hot wheel racing hell bent for leather up and down the isles at about mock 2 with their hair on fire. Man that is the way to win any war..I tell you...let them lose in a foreign country for about 10 minutes and the whole country will surrender..just begging in the peace agreement to take all those screaming children AWAY.

Okay so now I've made it to the check out stand. I've now dilligently unloaded the cart onto the little conveior belt, look at the cash register girl and she is standing there streaching her bubble gum outta her mouth and then putting it back in, she does this about 4 times...finally she looks at me and gets this startled look on her face and goes Oh are you ready to check out. I'm like "No sweetheart..I just like to come to the store once a day and see how much shit I can load up on one of these belts" Here's your fucking sign dimwit.

Oh my god then I made the mistake of paying her $60 in cash and telling her I'd put the rest on my debit card. Please for the love of mankind and the people in line behind you..do not do this to the walmart cashiers. It severly overloads their brain circuts. It took 7 times explaining it to her and her calling a manager over to tell her that was more than okay to do. By this time I was beating my head on the snickers bar display.

I made it outside and loaded up the Durango with my hard won purchases only to have 8 of the flock of vultures all scrambling into position awaiting my depature. It was scary watching them....

I got home and relized I forgot toilet paper...I think I will pay the 4 dollars exta and just go over to the Tom Thumb grocery store. I don't think I can take 2 days in a row of Walmart.

Monday Morning

I'm sitting at the scuba shop just staring at the walls. We are normally closed on Monday but me and the owner in our infinate wisdom figure if we are going to be closed on Thanksgiving, might as well open today for the business. Well I don't get it. Just because it's down pouring rain nobody is coming in. This is a friggin water sport after all. I don't get it. I should have sold at least 3 thousand dollars worth of stuff so far.

I was chatting with Burfica this morning, since Giagantor seems to be so funny, I was telling her man the house elf I married isn't quite that amuzing. I guess because I live with him the antics don't seem that funny. She told me a couple things I should write about. So I shall.
The man has this thing about smelling EVERYTHING. When I say everything I do mean everything. If he doesn't know what it is, he'll pick it up and smell it. Off the ground, in other peoples homes, at the stores, from the bathroom. See I mean everything from anywhere he finds it. This has led to some of the funniest faces I've ever seen. The other day he was in the backyard doing some yardwork, Keep in mind we do have the two very large dogs that the back yard is their domain. So my little elf gets done with the yardwork and like a good hobbit he takes his shoes off before coming into the house. He looks at his shoes finds something he can't identify on the bottom sniffs it then gets this look almost like oh god I'm constipated across his face then looks at me and says Hunni....this smells like shit...I just had to walk away figuring that's probably what it was.
We were in Arizona visiting Burfica, Gigantor and the kiddo, when Gigantor and the hobbit were doing something, and of course the hobbit finds something he can't identify and picks it up and smells it, Gigantor then tells him it could be some sort of animal poop, so to verify this the hobbit then feels the need to taste it. This is after he has picked up every toy, every color of Playdoh and all the slimy stuff from my nephew's toy box and sniffed and tasted it. Then he gets this hurt look on his face when I refuse to kiss him. NOOOOOOOOOOOO.....he doesn't get a kiss ever until he's been in the bathroom, brushing, flossing and gargling for at least 12 minutes.

The other night we were sitting and watching some TV which is a rareity for us, but I look over to see this cute little man rooting around in his nose, as all of our cute little men no matter the age seems to like doing. They of course after rooting around have to examine their finds as if it were gold. I just don't get it. Well after examining his find he calls the dog over and FEEDS the dog what he has mined from his left nostril. I begin to have spasms yelling at him, what the hell are you doing..DO not feed the dog your boogers. He then gets this very innocent look on his face and looks me dead in the eye and goes but look hunni, he likes it. **shaking head*** how can one possibly argue with that logic.

That has to be right up there with things you just gotta ignore to have a good, healthy and happy marriage...
Poor dog

Dogs, cats and bird

You all I by far and away have to have the dumbest pets in the world. I swear they are all dumber then boxes of rocks.
I have 2 dogs, (well they are actually horses that bark) A Rottweiler (named Blade) A Shepard/Lap/Pit mix named Casper, 2 cats that are about the size of the dogs...Spook and Smudge and we also have an African Grey Parrot named Manuk (That's Philippino for Chicken which I find quite amuzing)
My dog Blade I rescued from an abusive household. The third time the woman doubled up her fist and hit this dog in the head I told her she better give him to me or I'd dump her mutilated body down a mine shaft...(A few things spark me to vioence, abusing animals, little kids and old folks that can't take care of themselves) Well the woman took me serious and gave me the dog. My hubbys' dog Casper he got from a homeless man in San Francisco. Now most people think Rottweilers are attack dogs..Actually they were bread in the city of Rottweil Germany to pull milk carts as there were no horses to do this job. So these dogs always need a job.
Blades job is to keep every living thing out of the back yard...birds, frogs, grasshoppers, earthworms. So he spends his time outside leaping around like a kangaroo, literally hopping from one end of the yard to the other (what a retard) Casper thinks his job is to supervise Blades activities, so he lays on the porch with his head bobbing up and down as Blade goes hopping by. (usless as boxes of hair I tell you)
This is the extent of the outside activities that is other then the monster poop piles that you can imagine Big Dogs make.
The indoor activities include all ball playing, the two 100+ plus mutts having their wrestling mathes in the middle of the living room. Blade loves to stomp right in the middle of a sleeping Spook Kitty. She'll be sound asleep minding her own business and Whomp...Blade plants both front feet right in kitties gut...It's so pathetic to hear a "ooof in a meow sort of context"
My mother in law makes blankets to go on top of our bed spread so the stupid dogs can sleep on the bed when we aren't home. Blade sleeps on my pillow and Casper on the house elfs pillow.
Man when I die I want to come back as one of my dogs.

The cats are totally anti social. They are sisters from the same litter so feel they don't need much human interaction except for the food cabnit. Every once in awhile they will come around to get petted but try to pick them up and snuggle them on your lap and you get 20 stickers from their feet firmly embedded in your thigh. Hmmmmm wonder what kitty roast tastes like.

The bird..don't even get me started on her. She has become my hubby's bird and HATES my guts. I go near her and she hits the floor wings out in a I'm about to be eatten by a Hawk gesture screaming at the top of her lungs. WTF with that. However all the words and phrases she says (the good ones anyway) are in my voice and influctions...She says things like Kisses Mommy...I love you...Pretty baby girl...Hello (when ever the phone rings) She also rings like the phone and I mean exactally like the phone. then when you answer the real non ringing phone she goes hello and starts laughing. She also can make the noise that the house alarm makes when arming or disarming it. So I never know if it's armed or disarmed.
Unfortunatly she also farts and burps like the house elf does. And she's picked up some irritating whispering voice that my mother in law does. I keep thinking about making parrot stew since this bird hates me so much but then I remember how much money we spent for her and figure at least my hubby has a play mate...at least until my 8 year old nephew gets here.

Points to ponder

Okay this is a list from one on my Dive Masters at the Shop I think I'm the boss of..Just some things to ponder

• If you are driving along at the speed of light and turn on your headlights (yes my dears it is dark out)...Would you see anything???
• If you drive at the speed of light and turn on your headlights, and then speed up even faster, would you see your headlights in the rear-view mirror???
• You are driving along at 5 miles an hour and cross the railroad tracks you hear thump...........thump you cross them at 80 miles of hour you get thump...thump...how fast do you have to go in order to only hear one thump?
• Why do the people with the plastic Jesus have it looking at them and not at the road. Shouldn't Jesus be telling you where to go on the road?
• How many licks does it take to get to the tootise roll center of a tootsie pop (sorry I digress)
• Can God Make a rock so heavy your can't pick it up, and if so why?
• How is it that a 3 year old can get a quarter all the way up their left nostril? And why is they they feel the need to stick anything up their nose?
• Why is Stevie Ray Vaughn Dead and 2 of the Bee Gee's still alive?

No Idea

Have you ever had a day where nothing inspirational for your blog will come to the forefront of your mind???? I'm having one of those days. Nothing but incoherent ramblings are in my head.
Having read Burfica's blog and almost peeing myself got me to thinking about my husband and being late in the mornings. The effect just isn't the same though...Burfica's hubby being like this large Troll looking character approximatly the size of Mt. Fuji with these huge hands and huge feet (but the deceidely Dufas look on his face most times as he incoherenly stares at you while you are talking to him) and then thinking of my short little Asian guy who looks more like Dolby from Harry Potter than a Cave Troll. (Yes ladies I'm not getting any sex for several weeks for this comment) My wonderful Hubby is not a morning person at all so when the alarm goes off in the mornings it usually sounds like a pin ball game from bed room to bathroom, to walk in closet, back to bathroom back to bedroom then into kitchen, hallway, garage, and vehicle. I usually just pray that he is done rebounding off of solid objects by the time he makes it to the big old Dodge Ram pick-up. If not I just don't want to know about it.
Now my hubby however is a night person...which means he stays up until all hours of the night/morning. I tease him about having an on line girlfriend and cruising porn sites, but alas he normally is looking for fart jokes and other disguesting things in that relm....So having to get up early yet staying up late at night about once a week he deems it necessary to jump my shit at night because he's tired. Normal converstaion on this day. The Hubby...Why the F**K can't you do something around here..I work hard and I'm tired..My reply It's not my F**King fault you are to dumb to get enough sleep so stop bitching. He then pouts..goes to bed early and is a much nicer person in the morning, after the morning human pinball game that is. This is just to funny in my book.. Same converstation every week for the last 5 years.

Hmmmm this next section will be for Papa..
Things that are so irritating it's good I leave my Weapon home most days

• The person who while everyone is doing 75 or 80 on the freeway takes a call on the cell phone and slows down to 35 mph causing a large pile up behind them
• The stupid bitch that needs to put on her makeup while driving. (if you can't tell this is a huge pet peave of mine) Either do it before you are in the car, in your work parking lot, but sweetie in most cases you are to damn ugly anyway and no amount of make up is going to help.
• The woman or man with the big boobs, the bigger stomach, the much larger thighs and no tan who feel it is necessary to either wear a speedo or a bikini and act like super models. I'm all about being happy with who you are, but there are some things that certain people just should not wear.
• The people who are suposed to be friends of the above mentioned bikini/speedo clad persons that told them "no you look great in that"
• The screechy voiced person on the PA system that won't shut up.
• The waiter that keeps coming to your table and taking your pitcher of beer and refilling your glass..If I want more beer I pour it my damn self.
• Ohhhhhhhh Grrrrrrrrrrrr answering the phone during your favorite TV program and it's a recording saying "Please hold for Important Information" and it's a telemarkerter...who treats you like the plauge when you tell them to remove your name and number from ALL their call lists. (They have to do this by the way when you tell them too)
• Telemarketers in general....If I want your damn product I'll go on the internet, find your number and call you...GO THE FUCK AWAY already.
• The bitch on the prayer channel with the bufont hair do and the plastic surgery that makes her look like Joan Rivers with rabies. What is up with that and what makes you think you should be seen on TV and I'll betcha it's all those donations you are begging for that paid for that awful hair do and worse face. ICKY...shiver...cringe
• Politically correct bumper stickers...WTF with that..bumper stickers are supose to be for the entertainment of the driver behind you...
• The person at the store/ grocery/walmart that feels the need to put their cart smack in the middle of the aisle and then walk away, then comes back as you move their cart outta the way and act like you are stealing their safty deposit box.

Okay I'm done..sorry such a boring post today

A cry for help

Okay I give up...apparently my computer degree means nothing becasue I'm way to lazy to review the help files in order to link all my new friends and old ones alike sites on my blog. I know the href tag but can't figure out how to get the stuff over on my side bar...how stupid am I. Also I'm to lazy to figure out how to post photos and I have a bunch of cool underwater photos. So anyone want to e-mail my stupid butt step by step directions. Like I said apparenlty I'm to lazy to go review the help files. Hmmmmm maybe hubby the programmer can hack the code and we'll do it the hard way. :-)

Answers to Kitten:
I've lost about 257lbs. AT 6'1" I wanted to be about 161 but since at a little over 200 my ribs and hip bones are sticking out my doctor has firmly put her foot down and said NO to the 161.
I've gone from a size 36/38 to a 16/18 in pants and from a 5 to 7x down to a 14/16 I can acutally shop at walmart...(if I can find talls that is.) However when you lose that much weight in a basically short amount of time (yes I meant it to be a short amount of time I had gastric bypass surgery) you have weird hanging skin.
I look great in cloths if they are tight and can hold things up where they should be.
Last time I saw Burfica she was like when the hell did you get a boob job...I had to giggle as I've gone from a 48 almost DD cup to a 36C, and it has to be a super padded bra with underwires. You take that bad boy off and the girls are hanging out down wiht the bellybutton having a party... I don't have the dreaded bye bye arms of the skin floppying around under your arms. Girl I have 747 flaps. I need a tummy tuck in a bad way, and a butt lift...it's embarassing doing water aerobics and spinning around because someone is slapping you in the back and then you realize it's the loose skin on your butt pogoing up and whapping you on your back.
So if I can every find time between scuba diving (ha like that will ever happen) I'm going to apply for extreme makeovers. Who knows maybe I'll make it and they'll fix it all for me with no charge.

Okay I have to add this..
Stupid....I was sitting in here in my little scuba shop looking out the front window, where of course there are parking slots in front of the curb that steps up to the sidewalk. Well when one is pulling into this parking slot at about 20 miles an hour and hits this curb, one's vehicle will violenly bounce against this curb making a weird squeeling noise, when one does not have on a seatbelt, one will also bash into the steering wheel with one's face. Then to get out of the vehicle cussing about some idiot putting a ""gasp"" curb there to run into...Holy shit..she'd of ran into my front window if there wasn't a curb then I'd of had to beat her silly ass like she was an overdosed crack whore.
Some people

Alekx's rules of Driving

Thank you Papa for bringing this blog to the forefont of my mind. I had been thinking about it for awhile but keep forgetting to acuatlly do it.
I have a few basic rules of driving...
but first nobody take offense to any slurs that may be made as they are not racial or anything like that..be aware I'm married to a short Asian man (I'm 6'1" and he's 5'3") My seconds dads are a gay married couple, one of my best friends is black and I used to weigh close to 500lbs so I can cover all the bases in a fun way. Remember blogging is for fun and entertainment.

Rules of Driving

• He with the more expensive vehicle will give up the right away
• Car or SUV verses Semi---Semi wins
• Any vehicle including Semi verses Train----train wins
• Motorcycles never win when verses anything...
• ---with the exception of pedistrians...as anyone on foot verses moving motor vehicle...pedestrian loses.
• If he or she has blue hair and looks like the social security check just came in and they are driving...they ALWAYS have the right away
• If they are female with slanted eyes, everyone else for safety concerns should give up the right away
• If you can only see a tuff of hair and hands reaching up to the steering wheel, you should always give up the right away as they can't see over the dashboard anyway
• Little tiny Asian men in a great big Dodge Ram quad cab pick-up have the right away cuz they are making up for their short stature..(yes Hubby has a brand new Dog Ram quad cab)
• He with the beat up old car and a Nascar sticker in the back window is just plain nutso and thinks they have the right away at all times as they are pretending they are that nascar driver.
• When in Arizona in August, he with all 4 windows down driving wildly has the right away because they have no air conditioning and a continued forward momentum is a matter of life and death. Stopping means you begin to cook like you are in your oven...forward motion means it only feels like a furnace sandblaster.
• If she is putting make-up on while driving..gives other drivers every right to rear end her as hard as possible then leave the scene of the crime..hoping that the damn mascarra brush is firmly embedded in her eye or left nostril.
• He with the double cheese burger in one hand, french fries sticking out of the mouth like used cigrettes and the choclate malt in the other hand driving with thier knees should be shot and put out of everyones misery...(but then McDonalds would go out of business)

Speaking of double cheese burgers..has anyone heard of the new Hardie's cheese burger...it's something like 2 1/3 lb patties, 3 kinds of cheese, mayo butter and so on...it's like 1400 calories....OMG and people are going to flock to this burger then wonder why they can't lose that last 5 or 10 or 20 lbs...

More scuba do's and don'ts

1. Do as a divemaster always make sure your air is turned on. It's embarassing to be with a student get 20 feet down and realize you have no air...trying to find another dive master to turn you on so the student doesn't know what Stupid ass thing you just did.
2. DO not use that little hose that connects to the air flow as a way to get your buddies attention. It tends to make your buddy want to stomp on your head or pull their dive knife on you.
3. Do not forget that you have your regulator out of your mouth at 40 feet and inhale...it causes choking..however I found found that you CAN puke in your regulator with no adverse effects. YUCK
4. If an octupus turns a very very bright blue..it's about to ink all up in your face..probably a good idea to leave it alone for a few minutes
5. Crabs and lobsters really will pinch you if you mess with them..and it hurts like a mother.
6. DO not stick your hands into coral crevices...there is usually something in there that doesn't want your hand in there and will bite you
7. If you conk a Remora on the head with a spear pole they will spiral down into the depths like someone whose parachute did not open.
8. If you use flash on a sleeping puffer fish it will blow up to about 8 times it's size...then if you shine a flashlight on it..it glows like a disco ball..but we would never harass the wild life in this manner on purpose.
9. This one is serious for those of you thinking about becoming scuba divers....and you will learn this. NEVER NEVER hold your breath while scuba diving...always breath..holding your breath can cause you to blow up a lung....
10. Morey eels do not like to have their tails pulled so you can get a better photo of their heads sticking out of the coral...they will try to bite you

Okay enough for today...hope you all enjoyed.

Just a plain bitchfest

First off to all my new friends that have begun to visit my blog and I theirs, let me apologize for this Blog right now and know it is not directed at any one of you. So if you want to practice your art of censorship and skip this post I shalln't be offended. And thank all of you for visiting and I hope that I get the opprutunity to get to know each of you better through your blogs, e-mail and IM if you would be so inclined.

Okay...I'm gonna start my bitchfest and it's gonna piss off one or two people. Tough shit!!
What the hell is it that people don't realize this is a BLOG...a diary, a place to come and express your own opinions, your dreams whatever. First as Burfica has stated in her Blog. My BLOG, My opinions, my thoughts, you don't like it F-off. Who is forcing anyone to read something that you don't like. See the X in the upper right hand corner...use it, it's your right. I have a real issue of someone going to a blog and posting rude comments as annonymous, it's happened to two of my blog buddies this week, one a new friend, one a friend in real life. What the hell....people aren't brave enough to leave their real name. Though respect to one that did come back and say who it was. The other to my new blog buddy was just an ass.

However, my freind Pett, http://threeolivemartini.blogspot.com/ made a very moving tribute on Vetren's day on her Blog and received a awful comment from annoymous...who was then attacked and turned out to be a friend of all of ours. First off Pett has lost more than many. And this person knows of her loss but still felt the need to make a comment like this. That just sucks...I respect his right to his own opinion but as a friend should not have done it in the fourm he chose.
Next...Dwayne, you don't need my respect...fine I haven't even talked to you in a long time...so I could give a damn if you need my respect or not. I didn't even know it was you posting Mr. Anonymous and now that I do still could care less. You know this is like 2 year mental fucking meltdown. It's almost word for word the same bullshit from Virtual places. I wasn't even going to comment but the way you felt to jump up bad on me with the comment of not needing my respect...well fuck that. I still respect the right of you to have your own opinion, I respect the fact you owned up to it being you, but do not and will not respect how you made a friend feel when you of all people know of her loss and where her post was coming from. Then to act like we are all making you the bad guy....whatever....but look at the posts, from people you don't even know. You upset more then just a few people.

Okay I'm done with my bitch fest....I'll probably not read the comments as I know at least one of them is going to be quite rude. I might and again to my new friends I'm sorry for this one. I will be back to my insane self a bit later.

Peace out
Alekx

No Life...

Okay it's official..I no longer have a life. I found myself this morning looking outside at the dreary rainy day that it's turned out to be and flopping on the couch watching of all things Regis and KellyLive and thinking to myself hey this isn't half bad. What happend to me. I used to have an active mind...I used to be a productive member of society. I used to have a life.
Okay so one day of flopping on the couch enjoying Regis and Kelly does not constitue life being over...but it could. Am I wrong for my little infractions.

Okay my convience store coffee addiction is taking on new relms. I no longer go in right before work to get a cup of java..I now stop before work to get a "gasp" French Vanilla Cappichino (however you spell it) I then send my relief down on his way here to get me yet another cup....and then I have to stop on the way home for a Carmel steamer. This is getting out of hand..However I'm still spending less on the 3 cups of coffee a day then on one cup at Starbucks. It is now my mission to help other Starbucks junkies to convert to my little mom and pop convinece store addiction. Don't you know all addicts need company. Well except for Burfica. I'm a little worried about her hot cocoa powder addiction. She won't drink the damn stuff just horde the powder in the can, and make rabid dog slathering at the jowls sounds when anyone comes close to her. I'm thinking we may need to commit her...but she would consider that a vacation from her life...and I'm a bit worried the semi's would still locate her then I have to explain all the tread marks down the hallways of the insane asylium.

I have deceided in my spare time to create a new invention that is going to revolutionize the world as we know it. It is going to make life easier, promote peace to all of man kind, and to possibly cure world hunger..(well that may be streaching the point a bit but we'll stick to promoting peace to man kind)
This invention is going to be a light...a small light that will be a curtosy to others. This light is going to be a indication of intention. It's going to let others know that one plans a course of action...it's going to be placed on every persons motor vehicle..it will be viewable from both the front and back, and in some cases in the side view mirrors. This light will be visible in both the day time and the night time. This is going to revolutionize driving and life as we know it. You will use this light when you plan to change lanes on the highways and byways of America, you will also use this little innocent light when you plan to make a 90 degree turn onto a diffrent street/road then you are currently traveling on. I think I'm going to call this light a hmmmmmm "a turn signal" Everyone can have one. They will be free to use and will relive so much stress on other drivers trying to guess what the hell the other person is planning on doing. It will help elimanate much road rage across the U.S. It will tell others that you as a driver have half a brain, and it will do much to my plan of promoting world peace. What do you all think...Can I pull off this invention..can I win a pultizer prize for it...can I gasp make Money for this invention.
Someone just tried to rain on my parade and tell me this invention has already been made and is on every moving moter vehicle on the road ways. I don't belive it. It's a damn lie!!!! I've never seen this small flashing light...EVER...I think this person is just trying to steal my paton and gather all the glory and money I'm expecting from the revolution. Someone tell me it's not true and my goal for mankind is still attainable in my pursuit of the legendary road to happiness.

Okay Scuba do's and don'ts

DO NOT assume your dive buddy still has air as you are running short. He probably has less air then you and is assuming that you still have air for a shared air asscent. This is a bad thing.

DO always know where you buddy is. It's disconcerting to look up from the photo you've been taking and not know where your buddy has wondered off too

If it looks really pretty, really ugly or in between...DO NOT touch it. It's probably posionious and will make you sick. (I really need to practice what I preach as I like to touch stuff).

If it's big and has sharp teeth it's probably higher up the food chain then you are and you probalby don't want to piss it off. Be respectful and whatever it is will most likely respect you and leave you alone too.

Bummer and Other items

BUMMED
Well I was off on Saturday Morning to visit my sister Burfica in Arizona. We had all been watching the weather intently and it seems other then some slight chances of snow and mostly rain on the entire trip It was gonna be okay. So I get up at 4 in the morning..On the road by 5 after getting my coffee at the local convince store. The first thing that happens is Mapquest was wrong and I got lost. After a half an hour of failing around and many bad words and beating on the steering wheel, I finally got onto the correct highway and was underway. Now I'm on this highway with the speed limit of 70, not bad as I push it up to just under 75 (flirting with disaster after the 125 dollar ticket)
There is like me and 4 semi's all going the same direction on the road. Suddenly out of nowhere looms this little po-duct town that looks like something out of a Stephen King Novel or from the Texas Chain Saw Masaquere, there is not a living soul in this town to be seen at this hour of the morning and certainly no cross traffic. There happen to be 2 stoplights in this burg and guess what...I hit both of them red. This continues to happen for like 8 to 10 other towns along this streach of road. WTF....I got every red light in these little towns and there was ZERO traffic in every one of them.
I'm finally into 6 hours of my trip and arrive at Amirillo Texas, where the news says it's begining to snow and by night fall there should be 6 inchs of snow. I'm thinking to myself well it's 11 am and it's all mushy and just wet so I'll grab some gas more coffee and should be able to make it to New Mexico away from the storm before the snow is sticking. Not 5 minutes out of the gas station on I-40 and the road is covered with snow and people are sliding around. I continue on for aother 20 minutes hoping for a break but it gets worse and worse so finally I had to abort the trip and turn around and go home, a good thing I did cuz the storm was worse then thought, even if I grabbed a motel to wait it out for the day it's still snowing so I'd still be stuck. Don't you know I hit every RED light again on the way home. I'm really bummed I missed my trip but I guess if I got dead I'd miss many more trips.

SCUBA
Kitten asked where my favorite places to dive are. My honest answer is anywhere I can get in the water. The local mud holes around here, lakes and the ocean. I listen to all these divers saying I won't get in a lake. I'm like well what ever but I'm gonna dive. There are fasinating things to be found in lakes and quarrys if you just take your time and look. Besides you can go to lakes and such and really work on your skills so that when you go to the Ocean you aren't bobbing around like a cork and all nervous and you can just enjoy the abudence of the sea life around you AND the people with more experience don't have to be chasing you as you shoot to the surface because you can't keep your buyoancy under control.
A couple of my favorite dives
Cozumel: Seeing an entire Sea Urchin colony, there were like 200 sea Urchins all grouped together on the ocean floor and there were little baby lobsters living within the colony that was prety awesome. On that same dive there was a HUGE green Morey eel out free swimming and it swam right under me and I was able to touch it from head to tail as it swam by.
Bahamas: Diving with Caribean Reef Sharks. That ranks up there with my all time bestest dive ever.
Places I want to GO. EVERYWHERE...but in the near future...Cozumel (we try to get there 2 to 4 times a year if not more anyway), Tahiti, Hondurus, Caymen and Hawaii. I can continue on with the list for pages but I'll stop for now.
Favorite Live A-board: Juliet Sailing and Diving...great crew, great diving, great experience. We have don't the Bahamas with them and hopefully in 2005 or early 2006 will do Turks and Cacos with them.
Least Favorite live aboard...Nekton cruises. The boat is great, the crew is great, the itenery is okay, but I was divng steel tanks with them, both my hubby and I were, and when we got home our regulators were full of rust. I checked our steel tanks to see if ours had rust and they did not so the only other place was their boat. So I called to let them know and was treated like I was an idiot. Whatever they will get sued sooner or later for someone getting hurt from that. I won't dive them again.

On that note..I've probably board everyone long enough.
later kids
I'll try to post some underwater photos later if I actually study this and figure out how to. :-)
as well as doing links...feel free to post my blog on your sites if you wish.

Know it Alls

Some days I just don't get people. Granted I'm a female which automatically leads many men to the conclusion that I don't know much of what I'm talking about. And on some days that's very true. I have no idea what I'm talking about. But good Lord some men.
So this guy just comes in the scuba shop, tells me he is a top notch diver, and begins to ask the most bizare questions I've ever heard. Granted I don't know everything there is to know about diving, but I'm smart enough to listen to the people with more experience than I have, and to study things. So anyway this guy is in here running off at the mouth about Shit he has no clue about, it begins to sound like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoon (Charlie Brown) waaa waaa bwaaaa. I gently try to steer him in the correct direction without making him look like the total moron that he is.
He actually looks at me and says well I really don't expect you as a girl to understand the technicalities of diving. I looked at him like I was going to squish him like a frigging bug..and I could have..I'm a 6'1" female that has been a biker, bartender (in a biker bar) law enforcement officer (for the Army doing contract work) I have a loaded frigging Gun and PMS..asshole don't talk to me like that I'll make you a blood splatter on the wall that will make CSI proud. So me in all my inherent wisdom ask this "gentleman" (Dickhead) what his experience level is and how many dives he has. Let's see he is an open water diver with about 50 dives over 10 years. hmmmmmmm now open water diver is the very first certification you get. I have open water, advanced open water, rescue diver, 6 specalities, master scuba diver rating (highest level on the recretional side you can go) and am a Dive Master in Training (Professional level) with close to 150 dives in a little over a year. You think I could keep my mouth shut. I couldn't...so I told him all of the above. You'd of thought I ripped his winky off.
Grrrrrrrr at some men....Not all men are this way, but you'd think in an extreme sport it wouldn't matter if the person with more experience is male or female if they are going to lead you in a direction that will keep you from getting your fool self DEAD. Maybe I should just sell hm what he thinks he needs and let him drown...But God does seem to watch out for drunks and IDIOTS.
Okay I'm done Ranting. I'm off to Arizona to see Burfica and her nutso Hubby and my wonderful little farting sneezing Nephew...

State Vehicle Inspections

WTF.... I'm driving to work this morning...I've just stopped at the gas station/convience store for my 49 cent foo foo coffee (still kicking the starbucks thing) Minding my own business and the very nice police office comes up behind me as I pull out of the station with red lights flashing..I immediatly pull over so he can get by me to go on and and take care of what ever hardened criminal he's needing to go arrest. He pulls in behind me.
I'm like uth oh..Thinking frantically have I removed all the weapons that I had in the car from target shooting...how many full scuba tanks are in the back and I don't have a transport certificate with me...Did I hide the pot and cocaine.(oh wait that was a flash back of my younger years I no longer do that). I nicely open my glove box..no 44 magum thank goodness...so said office can see that I have nothing hidden; already have my drivers license and insurance ready for him. I've also mistakenly parked in the weeds so he has to trudge through them to get to my window..(did not mean to do that to the poor man I do have a high respect for law officers). That's when he's tells me did you know your inspection sticker is expried since July..I look and Holy Sheep Shit Batman he is correct...I look at him like jeeze I'm an idiot and apoligize and explain I'm orginally from Arizona and as long as the cow is pooping and the horse is still standing upright then everything is honky dory...he found this quite amuzing and wrote me a ticket anyway.
This is when I discovered that an expired inspection sticker out of date by over 60 days is a manidatory 125 dollar fine.
Though I have a undying respect for our law enforcement officers I'm thinking they accidently let a communist, red headed, adopted, bastard step child on the police force. What the hell happened to a warning and he could have stopped by my work tomorrow to see if I actually took care of the situatuation and then wrote me a ticket if I had not. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Guess what..I won't forget to get the 49 dollar inspection again though.

Now why is it that while the weather was nice...warm days, sun shining and everyone happy happy that I had to beg people to come in and take Scuba lessons. Now that it's 50 degrees or less out side, the water is plummeting to the mid 70's everyone and their dog wants to take scuba lessons...I don't mind selling them the class but now this means me and or my hubby have to get into the water with this sadists...POUTING as I hate to be cold.
Someone remind me again why I want to be a professional in the scuba industry.

We've knocked out another couple of our requirments for our Dive Master training, the skill circut where we have to perform in demostration quailty the 20 basic scuba skills. and we did what's called an equipment exchange, which is while sharing one regulator with air with your partner, you exchange all your equipment, without 1)panicing, 2)drowning 3)letting go of the regulator if you are the one in control 4)putting all the equipment you've exchanged with your buddy on the right spot of your body (no fins on your head, masks on your butt etc) and 5) NOT DROWNING...hehehehe..I'm alive and well even with my buddy forgetting I needed the air at one point and I almost had to squish him like a bug.

I'm preparing to leave for Arizona on Saturday, I will be driving from Ft. Worth to northen AZ alone (but well armed) and will be there for a week, I'll try to post a blog from time to time for my adoring fans. (all 3 of you thanks Kitten for joining my groupies).
If you don't see me for the week I'm gone, I'm either two drunk to post (and I don't even drink) to tired (some dummy in AZ booked 6 jewlery shows for me to do while I'm there) or to lazy to turn on my sisters computer.
Peace all

Addictions

I'm so proud of myself..I stayed out of the dreaded Starbucks today. That's not to say I didn't get a coffee fix. I was passing by the gas station/convience store and there was a sign saying any size coffee .49. WOW I'm thinking, 5 bucks at starbucks or .49 here...lets go here today. Much to my suprise there was this machine with flavored syrup and flavored creamer to foo foo up one's coffee as much as you'd like. So I foo foo'd to my hearts content and the coffee isn't to bad. and only .53 after tax and no tip expected. A few trips to this store and I may be cured. Alas the hard part is not having someone to whip my milk to a froth and squirt extra carmel onto the fluffy milk then call my name with excitement as my coffee concoction creation is complete. but saving the 4.47 dollars might overcome this last bit of my addiction. Pray for me friends and relatives, as I hit step 2 I should be calling each and everyone of you to apologize for some real or imagined transgression I've commited against you, or is step 2 accepting some sort of higher power. I can't remember, I'll have to see what the addiction manual says on this.

DRIVERS
I'm almost thinking that males under the age of 25 should not be allowed to drive a motor vehicle. Stop yelling at me guys, some of you drive okay but over the last month this is what has happened around here. A 22 year old driving a very old delipated Ford pick-up (driving a ford to start with should be clue one that this boy was a few bricks short of a full load) whips out onto the main road, running a stop light and causing myself and about 6 other vehicles to slam on our brakes narrowly avoiding hitting him and each other, thank gosh none of the other drivers were chatting on their cell phones or putting on make up while driving but alas that's a whole other rant that I will get into at a later time. Then this child slams on his gas pedal plowing down the road posted speed limit of 45 and shots his old ford shimming and whinning in protest up to at least 70MPH and WHAM, slams into another driver (Dodge RAM pick-up) who is doing the speed limit of 45. The front of the Ford gets totaled, the Dodge has a couple minor nicks and scratches on it. But then this 22 year old jumps out of his truck SCREAMING at the other driver like the whole accident is the driver of the Dodges Fault. I'm back to my normal saying some people should not breed. Texas imbreeding it's not just for Okies.
Next thing is watching the kids on these foreign motorcycles racing along the highway at about 120mph. Crashing into the guard rail because the idiots are trying to do these speeds during Dallas rush hour, and then suing the state or city for having the audicity to put up a guard rail in this particular area. Man I wish these kids would practice their right not to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle it would solve alot of the worlds overpopulation problems, and then these little morons would not have childern of their own.

Okay done for now..who knows I might have something funny to say later or just more boring mush

All over the place

First it's been awhile since I posted a Blog and my sister is bugging me non stop to post something so the topics will be all over the place.

VOTING
First off let me thank everyone who took the time to go vote yesterday, or early voting or by absentee ballot. Having been born an American I realize that over the years I took voting as just some mundane task, but then I married a man from a poor 3rd world country who he and his family had to work for their American citizenship, and as I watched my husband and in-laws in their excitement to actually have a voice in their leadership by having the right to go vote it really sheds a new light on this great system we have and are allowed to have a voice in. Before my husbands father passed away right after the last presidental election, to see the pride on this mans face no matter how poor his health, how difficult it was for him to vote, just the sheer determination and pride that he was given the gift of American citizenship and the right to vote. Man, how can I ever look at the right to vote as a mundane task again.
No matter today if you are celebrating or bummed at the winner of the race, it's still a pleasure to have voted with you. I for one am celebrating that the American people didn't put Kerry into office. But you know what I'm not gonna fight with anyone about it. It's my opinion, I respect yours if you don't agree that's fine, but I will not argue with you about it. If you did vote and want to put you opinion in a comment I'll read them all, if you didn't vote I don't want to hear your whinning and sniviling because I really don't give a damn.

DIVING
Of course you knew there was going to be some diving comments. It's not like I'm obsessed or anything with scuba diving. So I'm pissed at my husbands boss as we were going to make 4 to 5 dives this past Saturday but no the Ahole boss deceides that because he screwed up he was going to make the whole team work on Saturday, and by the time we found out there was no time for me to find a new dive buddy to go with. I was hoping that hubby's boss would call the house to find out where he was because I was going to give him a thing or two to think about. And just try to let him take it out on my hubby for my comments. Jerko I wrote contracts with department of labor, fair labor board and wage and determination. I'd like him to go there with me. Grrrrrrrrrr the jerk
Now on to some things I just don't understand...Some people come in to rent gear, wetsuits, (note the word wet in wetsuit) BCD's, regulators etc, everything you need to dive. And then I get this question. If it rains this weekend will you give us our money back.
WTF...if you are worried about getting wet, why the hell do you scuba dive. Hello, you are putting on a wetsuit..and getting in the WATER, when you get out you are WET, your hair is wet, you gear is wet, you ARE WET, and if you are one of those people that pee in your wetsuit you are wet and smelly as well so a little rain might help with that nasty urine smell that is oozing from your suit.
Basically the answer is NO I won't give you a refund. Check the weather forcast before you come rent gear. And if you are worried about getting wet, find a new sport for Christ sake.

Next thing I don't understand....When purchasing an important piece of equipment like your regulator, the part that allows you to breath Air from your scuba tank when you are underwater, why is it that people want to buy something like this from their buddy who has had his regulator in a box for the last 10 year with no maintance on it, or to buy it from ebay from someone they don't even know. I'm thinking, this is one of the most important pieces of equipment that is in control of my L.I.F.E. I'm going to be sure I purchase it from a authorized shop that is knowledgable with maintance and how this particular regulator works. I want to be sure that what I stick in my mouth and go down to 130 feet (recreational dive limit, that's how deep I've been, that's my story and I'm sticking to it) that when I take a breath this regulator is going to deliver air to my waiting lungs and not suddenly stop working. But hey for all you people who think that buying your buddys gear for 100 dollars, or from e-bay...again I have to say...STUPID PEOPLE should NOT BREED. Go for it and hopefully you will have a very experienced rescue diver or dive master that can save your silly butts when things go wrong. If not I won't be sending flowers to your funeral, but will make you a poster child for abortion.

STARBUCKS
How the hell did this happen. I have become addicted to Carmel Mochiatas (however you spell it) from starbucks. We are talking the most expensive cup of coffee in the nation (whatever you buy from Starbucks) and I know it is, and I can make something just as tasty at home, but I can't seem to stay away from the Starbucks. Did someone smack me in the head with a preppy, yuppy stick. HELP..My name is Mary and I have a drinking problem..Is there like a SA I can attend (Starbucks Annoymus) Jeezz this is an expenisve habit, not quite as bad as a cocaine or herion addiction but it's bordering close. I've thought about selling the big screen TV for the next hit of carmel. But at least I don't horde the hot cocoa tin like some people reading this blog do. (see www.burfica.blogspot.com)

JEWLERY
My home based jewlery business is ROCKING...To have a business (www.premierdesigns.com) that I don't have a quota to meet, and make 50% profit from day one is awesome. And to work for a company that really belives in biblical principals making them the most honest, and high intregrity company I've ever had the pleasure of associating with. If anyone needs extra income and would like to hear about this great business opprutunity with no pressure at all, just information then the decesion is up to you please contact me with your address and I'll get you some information.

COLD and COLD
The weather is cold, cold cold. Well everyone tells me I'm nuts but since I've dropped all the weight I have I'm cold when it's 80 out so not that it's in the high 40's I think I'm truely going to drop dead from my blood freezing in my veins and arteries. Counting down the days until summer.
It's time to buy a house and Cozumel and spend the winter months down there. Gosh break my arm, winter in the warmth scuba diving day in and day out and GETTING paid for the vacation.
Check out (www.liquidbluedivers.com) for the best dive company in Cozumel. Tell them that Mary and Manny sent you and they will take extra special care of you when you down there diving.

Okay I'm done for now. Sorry to have bored you soo much today
Again thanks for voting